This weekend the Boom house has been blighted with illness and misery. First, the little boom came down with something vomity.

Then the little lady was struck by it today.

So today was a pyjama day whilst everyone rested.

At one point, between throwing up what looked to be vegetable soup, (ironic as she would never eat such a thing,) the little lady asked me to draw with her.

I was more than happy to. We got the paper and pens out and sat at the big table proceeding to draw mad things and have fun.

It was very pleasant.

After a while, when I was halfway through drawing a skeleton waving a bloodied axe in the air, I noticed she was singing softly under her breath.

Aw that's so nice, I think I recognise that one, some manner of recent pop song.

I thought, as I looked at her happily.

You think I've got a sexy body...

She sang softly.

What the fuck? She is only 5!?! Why the hell is she singing about having a sexy body!?

Excuse me lass, what's that you are singing?

I inquired gently whilst fighting off the urge to get my real axe out from the garage and hunt down the singer of the sexy body song.

Hmm?

She looked up from her drawing of a princess in a castle surrounded by dragons.

Oh nothing, Daddy. Hey! Hurry up, I am almost finished and you are only half way done!!

Yes, alright then.

I stared about the living room suspiciously just in case there were sex ninjas hiding in the shadows singing inappropriate songs that a five year old shouldn't hear.

There weren't, not at the moment anyway.

It was then I noticed that my darling daughter was panting heavily in what looked to be a huge asthma attack.

Hey lass, are you ok?

I reached over and clasped her shoulder which was heaving up and down in time to her laboured breathing.

She looked up grumpily and immediately stopped panting.

We locked gazes. I started to wonder if I would have to take her to the brain doctor or something.

Then she threw her head back.

Awooooooo!

She howled in a strange but cute 5 year-old being a wolf way.

What on earth are you doing?

I asked in absolute puzzlement.

The little lady rolled her eyes at me and possibly Daddy's everywhere for not having a clue about anything.

It's what Shakira does Daddy.

She made a strange dismissive grunting noise like a tired Walrus and popped her shoulders back and forth before going back to her drawing.

It was only then that I noticed that She-Wolf by Shakira was playing in the background on the Top Pop station that was warbling on my Amazon Alexa device.

Shakira, ahhh. The panting, the wolf noises and the sexy body nonsense.

It looked like I was going to have to start policing shit in this house. Maybe I should just ban everything internet and TV related?

Is this what Dad's do? I think I preferred the job of Dad'ing when it was all drink beer after they go to sleep and stuff?...