Tamarind
I arrived home from work. It has been a busy day, so I had had to work a bit later than normal. The good lady had already taken the kids up to bed.
Ahhh.
I sighed happily. It was nice and peaceful without two marauding child monsters running about. I wondered if she had left me any dinner?
I headed into the kitchen to check. I smelt curry. Mmmm. Yum yum in my tum, churn churn churn then out my bum!
Ah, this was the life.
Whistling happily, I put the curry on to warm and looked about. Bollocks, there was a pile of dishes.
Whilst my curry was heating, I set to work washing the stack of dishes at the sink. My eye caught sight of a stained tea-cup with a dried in dark sauce dribbled down its sides, on the window sill. I grabbed it and started to wash it.
Damn the stuff was really dried in, I gave it a right good scrape with my fingers. It looked to be like tamarind paste? Ah no wait. There was a wee chilli seed-like thing in it. Ah, must be my home-made chipotle paste. The good lady must have put some in the curry. Odd, but fair dos.
It started to come off eventually under the hot water. Actually, it did look more like tamarind now under the hot water. I lifted a finger to my nose and gave it a sniff.
Hmm, hard to tell because of all the water. I gave it a little nibble with my teeth. Yep, Tamarind alright.
The good lady came down sometime later as I was eating my curry.
Hey, daddy bear. You like the curry?*
Heck yeah. It's magic. I really like the fruitiness the tamarind has given it.
The good lady looked confused.
What tamarind? I didn't use tamarind?
You did! In the cup, on the windowsill!
Oh my god, not the cup.
I rumpled my face suspiciously.
What do you mean? 'Oh my god not the cup?'
Her face paled, she looked like that dead girl creature thing from that film The Ring.
That was to get thrown out...
She whispered.
Yeah, I was washing it and couldn't figure out if it was chipotle or tamarind, so I had a little nibble. Tamarind!
Oh no!
The good lady looked as if something was trying to work it's way up her back snarler.
What?
It was poo.
She said with an air of dread.
WHAT?!?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD THERE BE SHIT IN A CUP?! OMGZ I TASTED IT!
The good lady made multiple gagging sounds, staring at me in disbelief.
Why would you eat shit?!?
WHY WOULD THERE BE SHIT IN A CUP?!!?
Oh my god, you are a shit eater!?
YOU MADE ME EAT SHIT. I HATE YOU!
I stormed out of the room. Bloody woman, who shits in a cup!?!
Later, the good lady approached me with a big smirk on her face,
Daddy-bear, it wasn't shit. At least not arse shit. Just a bad cooking experiment, I was joking, sorry!
I growled like a panther with one ball.
Hmmph.
So I think my first question would have been not only why was there shit in a cup on the widowsill but why was said shit so stuck on that cup? What did she do with the shit in a cup that made it so difficult to wash? Hahaha but I was very relieved to hear it wasn't shit as I'm positive you were too.
I had all these questions and more going on but at the same time I knew if it could happen it would happen!!
I am glad it wasn't poo too!
Excellent score for the wife.
Someone Curie this Curry!
She got me good and proper!!
Heh. Don't we wish. But curie don't upvote posts with over $5 after three hours, and Boomy usually hits it well before that point.
sob
LOL, the good lady got you good. She should write a Steemit blog. Or maybe she already does?
She started one but couldn't be bothered with it. Back to facebook she went!!
Facebook is a hard hell to escape from. I was stuck there for 10 years.
Me too! I have finally done it but yeah, it's a soul sucker
I have to manage the office FB account at work, unfortunately. It makes me want to wring a small stuffed animal's neck it's so damn annoying.
Yeek, that sucks. I get annoyed by having to answer the odd family message who have all decided to communicate solely through it!
Hmm. To me it seems more like a good way to avoid talking to family. "Sorry, I'm not on Facebook."
Then I get the guilt calls!!
You shit eater you lol. Reminds me of the ashes story from a dead relative. That could make a post though. Disappointed it wasn't shit in a cup though and the good old lady has a sense of humor. Fuck you make me laugh.
Haha, I in the other hand am quite relieved it wasn't shit!! It bloody looked like it though. Yeek!!
Post the ashes story!!
I will , you reminded me of it with your shit in a cup. Amazing where this stuff hides in our brain.
Stuff does hide in the oddest of places up there. Shit in a cup always shake things loose though!
I'm not entirely surprised if it was indeed real. I saw this video of two girls and... you know what, just go watch it for yourself so I don't have to spoil anything.
Oh don't worry. That soiled two girls for me quite some time ago!!!
ahaha sir meesterboom I was hoping this wasn't a real story! lol. Had me totally going though, brilliant.
She had me going!!
Howdy sir meesterboom...what? you mean that's a true story?? Well she is hilarious then, good for her! lol. You don't have to use your imagination much for great posts with circumstances like that!
Oh yes indeed it is a true story with only joyous descriptors added by myself!
haha! that's too funny sir meesterboom, never a dull moment around there!
Turnabout is fair play I suppose. I would say to her, well played. Lol
Turnabout is fair
Play I suppose. I would say
To her, well played. Lol
- old-guy-photos
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
I said the same thing pretty much!!
And so the student becomes the master hahahaha - told you she will get you one or other time
She gets me on a regular basis. It was a good one right enough!!
1 man 1 cup
It was never far from my mind!
"Oh my god, not the cup!" Great line.
It got me! It looked like genuine panic on her face!
She learned from the best!
Hehe, that's what I am always telling her!