The Force

in #life5 years ago

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I woke up feeling very pleased with myself.

Which in itself was peculiar as normally I woke up whining and moaning like a vegan teenager. Especially the morning after some beer.

I swung my legs out of bed and marvelled at the feeling.

This was magnificent. Shouldn't I be hungover? I thought back to the beers I had drank. Yes, I definitely should be hungover.

I made to punch myself in the face but my many years of Kung Fu training kicked in and I ducked to the side blocking the strike with my other hand.

Oh yes. This was magnificent.

I made my way to the toilet.

Aaarghh!?

I stopped dead in the doorway.

The toilet seat was up and inside the bowl of the toilet itself was a bloody slaughter.

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I took a tentative step forward. Oh yes, a veritable bloodbath. Some poor animal had been torn apart and casually disposed of in the loo.

I fancied I could still make out it's white tail in the midst of the carnage.

Delicately I reached forward and flushed.

Within moments the gory mess was gone and I could relax again.

It looked like nothing could stop me today. I did my doings and headed downstairs.

I was even more pleased with myself now.

The house was strangely quiet.

The lounge when I entered was deserted. The usual screaming child chaos absent, leaving an odd gap behind.

There was a note on the table.

I picked it up and read it.

Popped out with the kids to get you a lovely breakfast feast. Be back by eleven. Enjoy your child free time!

It was from the good lady. I checked the clock. It was only just gone ten. She had not only let me sleep longer but was giving me a chance to chill without the kids!

What a woman.

I had a free hour.

What awesome things could I do?

I could play my guitar.... I could do a workout... I could blow the dust off the Xbox and get some gaming on the go...

Hmm, maybe.

Then it came to me.

An hour alone.

I hadn't practiced with my light-sabre for some time.

I gave my hands an experimental shake. Oh yes.

Time to feel the force.

Sort:  

I hope the Force was strong that time! It has been said that the Force grows weak over time, there's no shame in that. Even the manliest of men have their moments. But, you know what they say, wielding a lightsaber is just like riding a bike.

And when it comes to bikes there is no man so proficient with the sabre!!!

"I hadn't practiced with my light-sabre for some time."

When you are just working out, it is perhaps expedient to practice with a heavy-sabre. Then, if the situation ever arises where it is actually needed, you will pull out your light-sabre and dance and pirouette it around with effortless aplomb and the bearing of a true Master (having practiced beforehand with a much heavier-sabre). Your most ferocious enemies will shirk before the merest flickering of your confident glance.*

*This is not investment advice.

Oh that bought a smile to my face. Yes indeed. It was the heavy sabre that was predicted with today!!!

*Definitely not financial advice!!

Happy b00m day!

deadly.gif

And if the big day is not today then I'm done with the congratulations!

I will take them for today even though it's tomorrow!!! Hehe :0D

Haha! sir meesterboom! brilliant. Great lines here too like this "whining and moaning like a vegan teenager!" lol..very fun post, sorry I missed the voting time limit though. on to the next one.

Ach I much prefer a comment over a vote! Unless you have a million SP that is, lol!

oh wouldn't that be fun? To have a million sp? I would be a whale for sure right? Then I would feel like the god in your post about the "woman shaped thing" coming to offer gifts! lol.

May the force be with you and Happy Birthday. It has to have been on one of these days. I am sure you had a great brunch.

It was good indeed, the brunch that is. My birthday isn't till tomorrow. See how I milk my birthday event!

I was going to wish you for 5 days to guarantee I get it right lol. At one time everyone was my slave for a week in the house, but I dropped that as with 3 other Birthday's in the house it got milked too much.

I used to be a week too! It's actually been hard maintaining the three days, everyone is sick of it. Apart from me obvs :0)

I still remember seeing it in the cinema!

The toilet? The white tail? A real animal or what I am thinking of??

I think it's exactly what you are thinking of. It was sheer bloody horror!!

What a kind wife you have - light-sabre??? Euphemism or real deal?

I expected nothing less hahaha

Is that what the kids are calling it these days XD

Lol, they are now!

ohhh I was missing you so much hahahahaahahha
I just read "I woke up feeling very pleased with myself."
Dont ask what my imagination did ahahahah

Talk to you late :)

Lol, if that's where your imagination went then you would have been absolutely right! :0D

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