Whoop Ass Beers!

in #life5 years ago

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Ding dong the weekday witch is dead!

The weekend is here, a devilishly bright and breezy creature with more than a hint of bajango up her curly-wurly! Listen to me and my 21st-century man nonsense. Does that mean I am woke now? I mean, you don't get much more woke than that surely! What IS woke...?

Before I can alienate you all by talking even more utter gibberish. Let me introduce the beers that we will be having this week.

A fine pair.

A pair to bring in the summer with no less. Of course, it did bloody snow here today, maybe it was an omen.

What are they?

Well the first is a straight up and in your face fight in a can! It's a can of Whoop Ass!! HA! Can you believe it? I am going to open a can of whoop ass on myself. Oh, my word. I never thought I would see the day.

So let's get fighty and stuck right in!

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Well well, it's a funky looking beast. I am not entirely sure I like the sound of it right enough, orange peel indeed. How could I refuse a potential fight with myself though?

I have a little trepidation it must be said. I have not really liked any beer from Beerbliotek, not since the first one I tried. The rest have been garbage.

Will this punchy fighty moo-moo be any different?

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BOOM. THERE's YOUR WHOOP ASS MOTHER FUNKER!

Oh. Or perhaps not. I mean, bloody hell, it's a bit pale. Like my old gran's piss when she started on the water tablets. Oh my oh my. Not much head to look at either. In fact. There isn't much to say about it. I will have to get the mouth wrapped around it.

For goodness sake. This is as far from a fight of a beer as you could imagine. It is like a wedding between two effeminate dogs in a soapy bath. Rubbish. Rubbish, I tell you. 2/10 booms and that is only for the funky name and can.

Well, onto the next.

I must admit I am a glutton for punishment. The next is also a citrus type of beer. In fact, it sounds even worse than the Whoop Ass. I liked the can design though so thought I would give it a bash.

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We could do with some sunshine up here in the bitter north. I hope this can ring the bell and announce Spring. Worryingly, it has honey, lemon and lime in it?!

We could be in trouble.

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It's another pale and weak looking thing. Like a kitten rescued from a bag thrown in a river. I can't help but think it's going to be shit. Surely not though? I haven't upset the Gods again?!?!

Jings?! It's flipping awful. It is exactly like beer that your mate has pissed in after drinking lemony dishwater.

I can't really say much more. I will however, give this fellow 3/10 booms because it has a better can design than the first.

Oh well. What a bunch of shit. I am off to get half monkied on some good stuff.

Have a good weekend.

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Cheers!

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I don't often drink, but, I like to try new beers once in a while. I stay far away from the pales though.

I would definitely stay far away from these ones! I like a decent pale but these were twoddle!

We posted in tandem - yours is going to be way more interesting!

Hehe, I was just looking at yours!

Close it fast!

Alright, onto the beer. If i type this quickly I should be able to make it to the shop, so I can grab a few and sit in my Airbnb. Or should I go out, hmmm.

Well these looked shit, sounded shit, and by all accounts, tasted shit. 3 point something %, that's no good at all boom!

I hope you've opened that bottle to wash the pish away.

Right, beer systems activated, thanks for the inspiration!

Go out and buy a couple for the Airbnb!! Be prepared, live that beer life!!

I'm not buying any for this French fella, he'll turn his nose up at Mercadona ales. Right, back in a bit!

Enjoy!! You will probably stagger back at midnight full of the joys!

Time to spare, but now the buggers need freezing for a little while. Damn Supermarkets - where's the chiller at!

Oh no, I hate waiting for beers to chill. You always end up taking one too soon and wishing you hadnt. Is it warm over there just now? I could literally take one home from the shop and it would be freezing from the journey just now!

I got to be the first one to watch your videos this week! I feel so special. Glad you had some back up beer. My wife and I keep a six pack holder in the beer fridge that I use to hold beers of questionable vintage. When it gets full we play a type of Russian roulette by each choosing a random bottle to try.

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I learnt very early on that it is advisable to have done backups in the fridge! I am so glad tonight that I did!

That actually sounds like quite the fun game!

I lost the last round badly by drawing a sticky sweet winter lager while Rebecca drew an IPA called Mad Hopper.

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It almost sounds like both are winners! Depends on the weather your nexk of the woods. I think these beers might have been ok in the summer perhaps. Its fecking freezing out which coloured my opinion somewhat!

Cheers!

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Wayhay¬ Cheers!!

They look awesome, particularly that porter!

Cheers with Whoop!

Whoopy cheers back at you!! :0D

First time I have seen you go to the back up plan as they must have been really bad. Good viewing though and could have been better. They whooped your ass this week for sure lol.

Ha, you know you have it totally right. They whooped my ass!! Lol. I am thankful that I always have a back up!!!

Well I have to say I'm a bit disappointed... I was rather hoping that the Whoop Ass would turn out! What is it with citrus beer, beer tastes fine on its own!

Maybe you should do as I used to when exploring uncharted waters... Keep a good brew on hand, something stout enough to wash the worst out of your mouth- mine was Molson Golden Ale... great balance and pushy enough to put the worst brew in its place!

I do, I have many a back up. Deep down I knew that whoop ass was going to be shit as well I just convinced myself that it might be good, just for the sake of the name!

O the punishment you put yourself through for our entertainment.... it is wonderful hahaha Thank goodness you have some good beers waiting for you.

Hehe, I know. It's almost inhumane ;0)

Dammit! I hate it when that happens!
Two bad beers back-to-back? Best get with the old reliables and drown your kittens of sorrow (or something).

The only way out of it is to drown those sorrow kittens and pray that such a sacrifice will appease the angry beer gods!

Maybe he was telling you NOT to buy the Woop Ass stuff.
that would have to be one of the lowest ratings I have seen you give in quite a long time.

True, he has never let me down before. He might just even have been having a laugh with the name of it not expecting me to romp in and buy it!

If only he could speak understandable English, what a better place you would live in. [no more shit beers]

It's quite good this way though, makes life a bit more exciting if I can never be guaranteed of a good one!

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