Try to ignore the feelings of shame, the helplessness, your inabilities, just reach out and it may become all there should ever be.

Most times, we are pressured into not calling or reaching out to our loved ones because we're too afraid of the broken voices filtering from the other end that would rend us into bits with the nauseating feeling of helplessness.

So we keep procrastinating that call or the visit because we don't want to be reminded of the things we can't do.

Because we don't want to see someone groaning in pains and not be able to sweep her off to a hospital. Because you should but you can't.

And we never do make that call. We live in denial, locked in our bubbles; hoping they're fine, that they would get along, that they don't really need us to be, that others would be there, they should be there. Lies.

Money has never been everything, even if it were, their are heights and depths of affection money would never get to.

It's already bad enough you can't help, it'd be worse when you hold back your care or love, that little you can offer. That little that may count for everything; your care, your concern, your calls, your visits.

You may not be able to pick the bills but you can pick your phone or pick a bus ticket.

I have a feeling that it may get too late to love while we're busy chasing money, money to use and show our care.

There's this family, especially one daughter of the family, that showed me so much love when things were very rough for me.

I relocated from that part of the city and because I wasn't still balanced, I barely called and didn't visit at all for the fear of going back there empty-handed, not taking some foodstuffs or money along with me.
Now I'm ready to give back to them, all the phone numbers I have of them aren't in use anymore.
I've been trying the numbers even till some minutes ago all to no avail.

Now I'm afraid: how will I get back to this family to at least show my gratitude?
I'm sure they'll be seeing me as one of the ungrateful people on Earth of which stories have been told.

I was looking for money so that I'll pay them a surprise visit with loads of goodies. Five years have gone by. Now, I can't find them. I'm sad.

I wish I kept constantly in touch by at least calling, I would've known where they've relocated to and I wouldn't have lost contacts with this beautiful wonderful family.

I've learnt my lessons. I pray I find them soon before it's too late.

I am trying to as well.