Skydiving- Did it even happen?

I would show you the during and after pictures from when I went skydiving, but I can’t.

I don’t have any after pictures because I died.

Parachute didn’t open.

Kidding, obviously.

The reason I don’t have any “during” pictures is because I’m crazy forgetful and I have NO idea where I put the flash drive they gave me with all the pics on them.

Which is a dang shame, because now I can’t post all these cool pics on social media showing
what a badass I am for posing mid air like that.

I could just go jump out of a plane again to get new pictures…

…but that’ll never happen.

Because to be honest, I didn’t particularly love the experience.

In fact, I hated the feeling of falling.

I never wanted to admit this.

I wanted people to see my badass pictures and say, “wow, you’re so badass!”

And then I could smile smugly, while feeling really superior to other people who WEREN’T badass
enough to jump out of a plane.

But thanks to my forgetfulness, I guess I have to feel inferior instead.

Or mediocre, at the very least.

So I have to be honest with you now, due to the lost pictures.

So I’ll just tell you the sad-legs truth.

My favorite part of skydiving was actually the before part.

I know that makes me a freak of nature, but it’s true.

I just remember laughing a lot with the flight instructors and other students to the point of my stomach hurting.

That’s always a good day.

I hated the falling part.

The feeling of falling makes my insides curl.

In fact, I LITERALLY curled my legs around the guy’s legs that I was tandem jumping with.

I’m sure he loved that 😁.

For some reason I yelled, “Just pretend we’re a spider!”

And then curled my legs around him, as if that’s what spiders do, or something.

I’ve never seen a spider do this.

But in my head during crisis mode, this is apparently how spiders act.

As if pretending we were a spider somehow made my behavior acceptable.

It didn’t.

My second favorite part of skydiving was after the parachute opened.

It was like my heart also opened to the possibility that I could stop acting like a scared siamese
twin spider and let my legs just relax.

I enjoyed the view for all of what seemed like 3 seconds, and all of the sudden…

…I was on the ground.

I really just wanted the parachute part to last the whole time.

The falling part lasted at least 30 minutes.

Or that’s what it felt like, anyway.

What was crazy was having conversations with the skydiving photographer mid air.

Like, how can we even hear each other?!

Magic?!

Welp, here’s the only proof of sorta not being a badass:

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