_{"None of that weird shit," he said. "Something normal that won't scare the visitors."}

I can do that!

Many Moons Ago

^{Yours truly, @NoNamesLeftToUse, began recruiting potential talent to join our vibrant community here.}

A few normal people and a slew of successful business types were my targets.

I worked for a man long ago.  A rich man; drives a fast car.  Successful.  Five star hot shot downtown restaurant owner and chef.  Millionaire.  A local celebrity.  A man who's shit does not stink.

I said, "Hey, opportunity knocks.  You should hire a foodie blogger to snap photos and write about the wonderful dishes on your menu.  These posts could double as advertisements that actually pay you instead of costing you money.  I'm sure it would be a hit."

A combination of investor and high quality content producer would be a great benefit to this platform, I thought.

Of course, this was early on and I'm sure if he would have taken my advice, he would have been swimming in profits by now.

I tried again.

^{And again and again.}

No dice, so recently, I tried again.

"That front page looks like a bulletin board above a urinal inside of a gas station men's room.  For the last time, I'm not interested."

Fair enough.  I get it and I've lost interest in explaining what's actually happening there; I understand why a business of that caliber wouldn't be interested at this point.

So I asked if he needed any artwork above his urinals.

^{His laughter was expected.}

None of that weird shit, he said.  Something normal that won't scare the visitors.  Something simple, bright; none of those damn faces.

I was then sent a photograph and tasked with matching the color scheme of the decor.

This is what I came up with:

^{The Prototype}

_{My Explanation:}

• That's basically a combination of the blue urinal pucks, the dark red counter top, and the fake plant I saw.

• Wet and drippy, to help men along with the urination process.

• Everything together makes up a hidden extreme closeup of half of a clown face; because he said, "No faces," and I like to mess with people.

After much internalized debate,

^{I decided...}

I don't want to be a bathroom decor artist anymore.  I don't care how nice that man's bathroom is.

If my work is to be synonymous with piss, I'll just shoot for the front page here.

Have a nice day.

Credits: _{All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "No offense to those who don't produce piss. Just messing around. Relax."}

^{© 2018 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.}