It's not keys, or the television remote, or even my wallet this time. Those I can live without. This, I cannot.

What Could It Be?

^{I've been looking for it all day.}

Today started out like most days I experience.

I opened my eyes and noticed I was laying on a bed. The darkness from the night before had dissipated into a fresh new sunny day. I do not ask the world how this happens, I just accept it and move on. Whatever. My mom used to call me a miracle too and I know how I turned out, so it can't be that special.

The bathroom is where I find myself next.

It is an exciting room and every time I leave I feel more better than I did before I entered. Most other rooms in the house aren't like that. Sometimes I wonder about how good life could be for everyone if the world was just one giant bathroom where if you had a problem, you could just flush it away instead of holding on to it until you're ready to explode.

Many of you know what comes next.

^{Mm. Coffee. I sure do like me some hot cup of coffee.}

With a splash of milk and a bit of willpower, I'm able to enjoy my favorite morning beverage without sweeteners. Those bastards lied to me anyway. The coffee does not taste sweet with sugar added in; it tastes like ass.

---

_{For the record: I do not know what ass tastes like. I just assume it's awful based on the smell. If I found a dead animal on the side of the road, it would stink, and I would know almost instantly that putting it in my coffee would probably be a bad idea. This logic seems to escape other minds on this planet but I'm not here to judge.}

---

Now that I have my coffee,

^{it's time to sit and relax.}

You'd think after spending an entire night of basically doing nothing but drooling on a pillow and acting like a vegetable, I'd be excited to get up and go.

Nope. Not yet. It isn't time. Getting mobile is a big step and I need to prepare myself. Life can be a battle and I'm not the type to just close my eyes and start windmill swinging my arms around until there are guts everywhere. I've always known I'm not a helicopter at the airshow flying above that crowd of people who actually paid money that day to say, "Run. It's going to crash," so there's no point in acting like one.

No sirree. Each day, I plan on taking life by storm and the only way to do that, I find, is to sit around and wait for the right moment; then run out and punt mother nature into the next space-time continuum with one perfectly timed and well placed kick to the hoohoo.

That all takes skill; and something else. Something else?

Something else.

Something. Else.

That Reminds Me

^{I'm supposed to be writing an article about losing something.}

I needed something. I got up from my chair. I remember it all like it was today because it was today. That part I know for sure. Or maybe today was yesterday. Or maybe you're reading this ten years from today. It doesn't matter.

Anyway.

I walked towards a cupboard. I opened the cupboard once I got there. I paused.

Why am I here? What am I doing?

I looked at everything inside of the cupboard, twice. I closed the cupboard. I thought if I just hit the imaginary reset button, everything would fix itself and go back to normal. I then opened the cupboard again and still, I could not figure out why I was there looking at the contents of this cupboard.

Feeling perplexed, I went back to sit down. I needed to think.

Why did I get up and walk towards that cupboard?

I'm convinced it was important because I don't normally get up off of my ass for any other reason.

Normally I'll do smart things like that one time I said quantum physics and people were impressed. So what's going on here?

All day, I've been staring at this cupboard, wondering. Every few minutes I go back to see if what I once needed has arrived. Whatever I wanted isn't there anymore. Or maybe it wasn't there in the first place. What the hell was it though? Why did I open the cupboard? Why did I start looking for something when I don't even know what it was I was looking for?

Did I lose it? Am I missing something? Was I robbed? What did they take?

I need to take a break.

~~~

Twelve Hours Later

^{I figured it out!}

After opening every cupboard, digging through every drawer, and ripping the entire house apart while thinking if I see it, I'll know what I was looking for; I solved the puzzle.

So if any of you out there in internet land see my mind wandering around somewhere, please tell it I miss it, and I'd like it to come home. If my mind is reading this, just know: I'm not angry, everything will be okay, we can move past this, please. Please, please, please; come home. I need you.

_{P.S. I made supper. It's in the fridge. Just warm it up in the microwave. Two minutes on high.}

Credits: _{All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "Stop barking, silly dog. You are not a tree!"}

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