Our houses are the most familiar place to us. Even if we have jobs that could take us away from home the whole day, perhaps the one reason we're very familiar with the home is the fact that we tend to be very relaxed and comfortable there than anywhere else. You know, that cocky feeling that constantly reminds you that you run the place and that nothing could ever come as a surprise. And then there's your midnight binge on Netflix and your regular dose of xyz TV as you're splayed on the couch, tired.

However big or small your house is, how you arrange it is very important, as it helps you navigate and know every little hideout around the place than anyone else. But it seems not many humans know every part of their houses as much as they know the names of every member of the Kardashians. One way to prove this is true, is the fact that when it comes to keeping small stuff safe or hidden from annoying friends and unwanted visitors (like a burglar), there isn't a lot of people who know how to do this effectively, especially in their own houses.

Forget the safe. It doesn't always protect you. If you're a proud owner of a safe in the corner of your bedroom, and I am a burglar with enough time to kill, that would be the very first place I'd want to start with for very obvious reasons. Which is why it's okay to have other places to stash your stuff around the place.

Here are a few tips on the best places to hide household valuables.

First off, if you own a safe and it isn't a combination lock, then even its key needs a safe. As such, Flat things like keys could easily be slid under the carpet and kept there. Most often, people would place them around corners or at the very beginning of the carpet. You might wanna take it a step further by pushing it far beyond the corner of the bedroom floor (If you aren't in a hurry to get it out each day). As long as it doesn't make an obvious tent like @belemo's pants does each time a midget passes by, you'll be fine.

• Besides the safe, one place you may likely see people keep their stuff is under the bed. Kids know this, which is why it's the first place they'd hide at the very first sign of danger. Well, ignore the bed, how about the kitchen? Studies show that in most burglary cases, the kitchen is usually left untouched. In between the stack of pots and plates might be a good place to conveniently keep uncommon things as very few people would suspect.

• Drawers and similar pieces of furniture are perhaps not a great idea when it comes to keeping your things safe. Unless it's filled with irrelevant wads of candy wraps and useless solved math questions, your drawer exposes all of its contents with a single pull. Not ideal for keeping things you feel should not be found.

Phony (fake) wall sockets can be installed on the walls to keep tiny things away from prying eyes. After all, it's a frigging socket, right?. It's supposedly filled with cords and intertwined wires that no one really gives a fuck about, and studies have shown that 80% of humans could enter and leave a house without even realizing there was a socket on the wall, less alone pointing out the phony one. We're all a bunch of unaware folks.

• Unless you've got a glutton friend visiting from out of town, wrapping valuable stuff up and keeping it in the fridge labeled as food is one kick-ass way to hide 'em. Slapping it a label that sounds as distasteful as possible would sure as hell remind them to stay the hell away. For example, Sheep balls, Crispy tarantulas and White ant eggs soup! Burglars are always in a hurry and would hardly ever stop by the fridge to grab a bite.

If you have flower vases around the house with sand in it, it could be a good place to hide the small stuff as well. No one ever pays attention to an innocent plant swaying gently around every corner of the house, Unless of course, they work for the C.S.I. or grew up in the wild with Tarzan or something. You could seal money and other small items inside transparent Ziploc nylons and bury it in the sand. Gotta love the Idiom.

• Old and out-of-use appliances like your Cathode ray TV in the basement could serve as an uncommon place to use as a keep. With its sorry, pathetic look and feel, It will most likely be ignored, especially if you only access whatever it was you hid in there occasionally, allowing for cobwebs to be the perfect alibi. Yup cobwebs, after all, it's the basement, right? Wild animals live down there.

While I wouldn't completely vouch for this one (because if you're a bookworm, that automatically makes you boring and it's easy for your friends to figure out which booking you're screwing around with), the old-fashioned method of keeping files and paltry sums of money within a big book never runs outta style. It gets even better if you operate an offline Amazon for a home 'library corner' because It gives them very little idea of where to start from. You want to be sure you know which books the money is kept as well as making sure it doesn't create an obvious partition between the pages. Forgetting which book you kept money sure as hell is one pathetic way to losing cash.

Keep your stuff hidden!, no one has to see it.

Thank you for reading.

I nominate @olawalium and @winarobert to make an entry this week. Also, support @comedyopenmic for witness by clicking here to vote