Page 2 - Foreigner in my own country. - Draft - (Literature/story)

in #life5 years ago (edited)

I've decided to write a book, so I'll train writing drafts. So if you want to correct me, any advice, anything you want to criticize, be welcome in my comments or write me directly to discord.

So I'm going to make a mistakes with pleasure, I'll run without taking care of the stones, the more I stumble the more I'll learn to reach my destination being a true professional writer.

Aim, shoot or stab.

In spite of the pleasant year that I have spent on my return home, I have hidden a pain under a mask well camouflaged, that for my idiocy I have taken it off and retaliated with incorrect characters.

I resumed the vice of the cigarette due to pain, taste and to attract attention. Which increased my emptiness, in the parties that frequented my lack of knowledge in the dance, prevented me from expressing myself one hundred percent. "Nonsense," which really hits me.

It turns out that, between parties, a little person used to repeat himself, that invisible, unnoticed and unknowable slipped into my heart, in the same way that it was kept present in the festivities, it never occurred to me that this way the events of the month I step on the calendar would occur, September, I would be traumatized after this. I tried to write him for one of his profiles, and it's kind of funny. Because just as I am in the parties in a passive way or active in the events, for example:

In a cold place in Venezuela, the farewell of a young man who is leaving the country to venture into foreign lands was celebrated. In that climate of blue fire, we invited a cousin, friends, apart from the presence of my brother, and also you...

A total lack of control, a minor friend that my mother had to take care of, close to my brother, got drunk as if tomorrow did not exist, and today I had to live 10000 mornings. While the alcohol tormented her, she was passed out on the floor being supported by my social group with which I went. And me? Well, sitting near the little group, while I complained about my existence, I don't lie, ask the rum I bought and the second that (I'll keep my name and invent another) Eduardo was stolen while paying the first one.

Twins bottles and I was not drunk, when we took two bottles, and a box of cigar Belmont. There were fights, a collision of some vehicle, I lay down to sleep with the inexperienced drinker on the same mattress that urinated, my sister flirted with a friend's cousin, my sister's best friend kissed with half a party. And me? Present active, passive, inactive in each of the scenes. I must point out that I try to flirt with a friend of the pretty protagonist... Antagonist of my words.

Sorry if it comes out with anger, is because they are sincere, there is nothing more sincere than hate, according to psychologists is the most authentic emotion of man. I could kill for you, but your attitude towards me kills me.

In another previous party, I already wrote that you spoke with a cousin, and I, as a faithful jealous of my suspicions, asked him about you. It cost me to reveal information, that so much insistence bore fruit that he gave me a sincere opinion. "If you want my opinion, that girl is bad, bad", my insatiable curiosity was not covered until I demanded details that my cousin referred to evil, because we can be bad in thousands of ways, that in some can be reformed. His words were: "Mala, who likes to manipulate..." blah blah blah, the rest I prefer to supplement his imagination, and with those 5 words is enough.

I also remember the times that I entered the Facebook of a friend that I leave open in my computer, I began to write to his friends, imitating him, I immaturely made myself pass with him, flirting with any girl at random. Question that I admit I was a complete imbecile, but I do not carry to greater conflicts. Among those beauties you were part of the list.

At my brother's party that I organize with his best ex-friend (another women's problem and he left the country last month) where you talked to my cousin, I confess that you came radiant, wow! Ride me cachos, be unfaithful to me only if you don't even think about leaving me.

NO, NO, NO. No matter how beautiful, I don't share. Infidelity begins with yourself, you abandon yourself, you self-deceive yourself. I know it from my own experience. Why are you like this? Did they hurt you? Revenge? Those emotions will consume you, I warn you, you fail yourself, the abyss you generate is self-destructive, observe me!

I don't know how to dance, but I have decided to learn, the cigar I have confronted again, the last boxes I gave away, not without first smoking a pair of cigarettes with a sweet meeting friend of my brother, alcohol is strictly limited unless Jesus Christ comes down and invites me to drink wine with his infinite gift of transforming water into delight.

I resumed the physical exercises that I left a month ago, I trained for more than two months an excellent routine, the books I resumed but with greater force, Seriously! I finished antier one, yesterday I reached the other half, I have gotten powerful virtual books, apart from the physical that you lent me. I lent you two books, one of my favorites is in your position. Do you want to know how I feel? Lee Werther, you'll be Werther's love and I'll be the main character, okay?

You inspired me to be my best version, and you did it again by breaking my ventricles, luckily, fortune and advantage I am at a favorable point. You'll miss my best version, just remember this story and in a couple of months, or say a year, you'll regret it.

Going back to the story. Somehow you were latent in my heartbreaking novel. Until at last, you add me, you write me, I felt a little embarrassed because I tried to romanticize with friends from your circle. That it's totally stupid to think about it, it's past, the intimacy that even materialized more was the air I breathed when I fantasized about them.

You know, should I be scared by my ability to tie the strings? Get information from fellow members I frequent who had an idea or not about you, research through your publications, friendships, likes and comments. Adding up my experience of reading people, face to face is an open book, with a very eye-catching cover by the way.


Your gestures, attitude, sound of the voice, looks, words, silences, walking, breathing, laughing, smiling, obstinate, kissing (we kiss, yes, a kiss of death), etc... Mixing the virtual with personal encounters. I managed to capture your true essence.

You are empty. You can't make it with any boy because, as you say, they are empty. Am I empty? Please, I'm a vice for the vertigo of the unconsolated, the deep Marianas fall short with me. Nothing fills you up because you are empty, don't forgive me for being so direct (literally I don't care), let me be like you, direct, cold (although I have written you subliminally) you don't get to feel the simplicity of the men you've met, because you ignore how special you are, you stayed in a hole. What a pity!

I'll try to write like The Tunnel. Or those meticulous writers.

Today in the morning I wake up with a call in order to accompany her to an institution where she delivered some papers, documents necessary to leave the country (what most want), listen to her voice despite having slept less than two hours, gave me a discharge of energy that today despite missing 46 minutes of the next day, I still energetic, if you think you are not magnificent, you are.

Part One.





Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://purapapita.vornix.blog/2018/10/02/page-2-foreigner-in-my-own-country-draft-literature-story/
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Hello @purapapita, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

Thank you very much, I am honored that you will take me into consideration, you are the best <3 :3

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