Is Autism Hereditary? My thoughts and perceptions

in #life6 years ago

I live with a family of undiagnosed Autistic people. If you were to ask me, “is Autism hereditary?” Then through my experiences I would give you a definite yes as an answer. My Granddad on my Dads side was Autistic, my Dad was Autistic, I’m Autistic, as is my Son. There seems to be a definite pattern there right? The thing is though, only my Son is diagnosed, and that’s because we know so much more about Autism now than we ever have. I spent my youth and early adult-hood with a basic understanding of how people work and why they do the things that they do. I really couldn’t get to grips with society when other people had “being awesome” licked, and there was me struggling to understand the most basic of social queues.

Is Autism Hereditary? My Dad, and me


For those of you that don’t know; Autism is a spectrum. There are extreme cases that cannot talk and spend all day banging their head off the wall, right up to people like me that can pass off as a regular mentally well, integrated member of society. It may have been far more noticeable when I was a child, but back in my childhood anything that strayed from the median ‘normal’ of society was pegged as weird and outcasted. I spent a lot of time learning how to mirror other people’s actions, appear non-threatening to anyone, and generally have people like me. I spent a lot of time at school being the outcast — I didn’t want this to happen to me again, therefor I learned deep coping strategies.

Then there was my Dad, and yet, as I look back to when he was alive he was largely different to what I was. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him; bullshit would spout forth from his mouth and he’d believe his own torrent of codswallop, as would others around him. Until they became wise of course. I used to think that Dad was an extremely fierce and confident man. Yet when I reminisce with my Aunties (his sisters) of our time with him, they describe a different person. To them he was a man of a broken home, he was extremely unconfident and had to use a continuous alcohol stream as a way to express himself confidently. As I analyse that I realise we weren’t too different at all. I had problems with addiction and confidence too. All the same things as my Dad also. Is Autism hereditary? It’s certainly becoming clearer now. Definitely from what I’ve witnessed from my Dad and myself, and the reflections I can take from my Son. But then again, I may be an isolated instance. I’m looking for suggestions here.

My Son


Then there’s my Son, and he was the key to me asking is Autism hereditary? He was the one that sent me on this thought train; that I may actually have Autism, and the way I experience life may not be central to all things. My Son has addictions. He’s young right now but I can already see him fostering an attachment to his technology, and if we leave it unchecked, like we have done in the past, then he could be up until 11pm watching YouTube. Then there’s the difficulty he has with integrating with his peers, which is standard with Kids with Autism, but we can see the confusion on his face as he tries to communicate with them. He doesn’t understand his body either. I’m trying my best with teaching him what feelings are which, and this is something that I’ve only learned recently, so we are taking our journey together in learning and understanding our bodies.

This was all me. I’ve went all through these stages in life. I feel Alex has mirrored a lot of what I went through in the past. I may have not had YouTube but I certainly had a computer, and if left unchecked I would have been up until 1am playing. I was also terribly bullied as a kid; other kids didn’t get me and I didn’t get them. My childhood was from a time where if you were weird and different then kids would bully you, rather than accept and tolerate others. I had to learn deep coping strategies, and this is why it’s not apparent in me whereas it is in my Son. He can be himself. I wasn’t allowed to. Neither was my Dad, or his Dad, and so on.

Me, Myself and I


I feel somewhat blessed, but at the same time I feel that I’ve missed out. I’m only recognising my strengths now and owning them. As a kid I had to learn and adapt fast. I was like a human being fused together faster than how he could adapt on his own. I had to learn social skills without properly understanding them. This is safe — so I’ll do it that way. My longing to be finally understood was replaced with frantic clutching at people to be accepted within their circles; learning their ways, adapting to their needs, and defending the friend-circle like a fierce predator. I learned this quickly, and perhaps that was a blessing, because as I begin to explore and understand myself and realise that I need to understand who I am before trying to figure out anyone else, I develop a deeper understanding of the world. I take my old skills honed through the years and develop my skill-set into a balance. It’s been enlightening.

But enough about me. I see Alex in me, and me in my Dad. My Dads Sisters see me in my Dad and my Granddad in my Dad. It seems to only affect the men in my family. Why this is? Well, I’m no genetic scientist, but I can tell you that it definitely runs in the family, and I have came to this conclusion through intense reflection and deep discussion with others in my family. None of the women have it, or not that we are aware anyway.

My Conclusion


Is Autism hereditary? Yes. It’s too much of a coincidence to not be. You could argue that who am I to make such assumptions? I’m just some two bit gangster with a keyboard and a blog. Well, my Auntie has worked with Autistic kids for most of her life and I have ten years in the Mental Health sector under my belt. I’ve worked with many Autistic people too, and there’s one thing that’s very standard with these people, is that they have lived their lives very parallel to mine. We have an educated opinion!

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My grandson has Asperger's Syndrome, inherited from wife's side of the family. I think there is so much about the human brain we do not know. We should quit calling autism a disorder and treat is as a personality difference, an organic part of what makes an individual an individual. All of our "intelligence" tests measure intelligence in a very specific way that favors the preferences of those who created them. I've met some very intelligent people with autism. They may not be math genius, or emotionally intelligent, or good at writing poetry, but my grandson has a kind of brilliance that I can't know. And I think it's that way with all of us. We need to teach each other how to tap into our unique brilliances.

Great post.

#steemitbloggers

@blockurator Oh wow. I agree actually. I think it's a personality difference too.

This was such an interesting read. As it so happens, friends of ours joined us for dinner last evening and her son is on the autism spectrum. He is relatively high functioning, but not sufficiently so to ultimately live independently. He also suffers from OCD and his particular condition means that he shuns social interaction and as he's got older, he organises his life so that he's awake when everyone else is asleep. He is addicted to games, but has gamer friends all over the world. They were telling us last evening, though, that he's taking himself off (by aeroplane and then bus) to see a girl friend he met online. Also, they're in the process of emigrating to Scotland where they'll ultimately get better support for the now young man than in South Africa. Ok, so that's by way of explanation. What I've realised as we've got to know them over the years, is that it's quite possible that his mum is on the spectrum. So yes, I agree that it may well be hereditary, but no, not restricted to the male line. I also recall a film, years ago, about a young girl with autism and her mother's battle to not just get her diagnosed, but treated with compassion. I've never forgotten it.

Credit to you to learning to live with it and overcome the obstacles. Alex is lucky to have you as his dad.

@fionasfavourites Thank you! Yeah, it's been a hard old slog, but I'll be hoping alex doesn't have to go through what I did. - Interesting. That kid seems to have lived a life parallel to mine for a good few years. Haha

Thank you for sharing your story @raymondspeaks, many can be learn from this experiences of your and start the question themselves too.

100% yes. I would most definitely agree that it is hereditary. My brother is Autistic and my step dad (his biological dad) has an enormous amount of traits my brother has. The same with his dad. It is only now that my step dad decided to seek help from the doctor as things are becoming difficult, again, goes to show what level of understanding people had of this, I think now more so than ever people are becoming more aware of this. It is just a shame schools don't step up to the mark! (Well, at least that is what we experienced with my brother, school was a joke!) I am actually surprised there's no evidence to support this already. Unless maybe there is? Or, like the Nature V Nurture... could well be both. Thanks for sharing and sounds as though you are a wonderful dad! 😀

@letsgetquirky It's a lot of both methinks - my Dad had no-one to guide him so his autism went well out of hand. Same with me, I had no-one to guide me, so I got well out of hand for a while.

Interesting thoughts, I have a friend that puts it all down to vaccinations which we stopped discussing as the topic got quite heated. Very brave to put it all out there. I hope many peopme take the time to read this and give tou there thoughts.

@insideoutlet Thank you! I disagree with the vaccination theory because they weren't a thing when I was a kid. Also, I get quite upset when people tell me they'd rather expose their kids to all sorts of mutations than rather be like me..

I agree with the exposure issue. The reasoning just doesnt make a lot of sense.

Wonderful that you blog about this. Have you heard of James McCue? You might check him out he is an artist, author, known as the autistic whisperer. Here is a link: https://the-art-of-autism.com/autism-whisperer-james-mccue-speaks-to-souls
He is able to reach people no one else can reach and speak for them.

@rebeccabe Never. I'll look him up thank you :)

Temple Grandin is a well known author...speaker...a woman diagnosed with autism...movie was done on her life...helped me a lot in interacting with my grandson whos been diagnosed...he's hi functioning...scary what he can do on computer...so hard to see him as a teen struggle socially...he's often asked " why can't I have friends"...

He's a wonderful young man in a quiet environment but riddled with anxiety in social settings...he's a teen who looks to hold your hand for comfort if walking outside on a busy sidewalk...

His dad is most likely on spectrum along with his uncle....his schooling the last few years has been a mess...he has a lot of support but its very draining for all...good luck with your moving forward....

@bobreedo thank you! - yeah, us autisties are good with PCs :)

I feel somewhat blessed, but at the same time I feel that I’ve missed out. I’m only recognising my strengths now and owning them. As a kid I had to learn and adapt fast. I was like a human being fused together faster than how he could adapt on his own. I had to learn social skills without properly understanding them. This is safe — so I’ll do it that way.

I feel like I could have written that, but instead of clinging to friendships, I cut everyone out. I couldn't handle the drama/pain that came with "Friends" (but then again I'm a female, so I'm sure there are a bit of differences) and so I became a loner and really I still am to this day.

Also, I don't know about autism, but addictive personality definitely is in my family and I've been very aware of that when raising and talking with my kids.

There are so many things about myself that I thought were "normal" for years/decades of my life and slowly started to realize (or was slapped in the face with the fact) that some of those things were very unusual.

Even now, I'm in my late 40's and I am learning things that I thought were just normal or that it was just something I did/thought and am finding through the interwebs and the great social media experiment that I'm not alone in these things at all (or that I am very very weird.)

Figuring out what to watch for, guard against and teach our children is a constantly evolving process. Kudos to you for being so observant!

This is just such a wonderful thought provoking post.

@byn Thank you!! And yes. For years I thought my outlook on the world was the gold-standard. Turns out it's not. And it's wildly different from person to person :)

It's good that your son has a father that understands and knows.
Thank you for sharing your story @raymondspeaks

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