Your screaming and your blaming is only harming your own cause

in #life6 years ago (edited)

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I was called white, and privileged a couple of weeks back, again, by someone that had no idea what they were talking about. I'm not too sure what the aim of white privilege is; is it to raise awareness? Is it to help others understand their benefit in life? Is it to make people feel bad for something that they really can't change? I'm not to sure, but in my circles I take it as an insult, because I was raised in a low economic background with not two penny's to rub together. One Christmas I was given a bunch of pens for my main present. Yes, we were that poor. So when people come at me with this kind of thing I get a little insulted; life was tough for us at the bottom of the pecking order.

It was a strange sort of situation to be in; the lady on Facebook had asked her friends -- including me, what were they doing to challenge their children and their understanding of white privilege. In my eyes, I'm not going to teach my son any of this because I don't want him to grow up feeling he's different from anyone else, or that he needs to separate himself from a group of other people based on his skin colour. It makes sense right? Some people look different, but essentially we're the same. You treat people with respect unless they violate that. It's what I was told, or brought up with.

After an entire evening of being attacked for my views on human integration I was told that I was worsening the problem of race rather than bettering it -- and to be honest the whole escapade felt like an entire evening of narcissistic virtue signalling about who the wokest bae/bro was -- it honestly made me sick, and it's why I'm writing about it now. It angered me to the core because whilst slandering me for my opinions none of them asked me any questions, or delved deeper into why I thought this way, what I had experienced in life to think like that. I asked them, I tried, many times, "Why haven't you asked me why I think like this? Why do you just go for my jugular" and after a few ranty shouts by someone that called herself a spiritual healer I had to block the lot of them.

It got to me you know? It's still getting to me. Those people were falling over themselves to tell me how much of a horrible person I was on the basis of one statement I made -- nothing more. I refuse to teach my son about privilege. I refuse to teach him anything that will make him feel more or less of a person than his neighbour. You know what's also getting to me? I'm supposed to be hard left. Like, yeah, I believe in equity, diversity, and inclusion, even if I don't agree with what the next person is telling me. Even if I don't like what they have to tell me. I still believe in equity, because I know everyone has a story. Everyone. You don't get to choose who qualifies for equity just because you disagree with them. This is TRUE equality.

If they had actually taken the time to ask me why I think like this then I'd have told them it was because I've worked with thousands of low immigrant economic families before; I've seen them get the right support that they need; I run a social group and most of my team are from countries that the UK and the USA regularly outsource to for cheap labour. I won't be doing that though, they'll get a proper wage and a good whack at helping out the impoverished in their areas.

I've never heard of white privilege until recently, and it's creating division rather than cohesion. Look at the example I gave? A friend I had to delete because of her ignorant and unfounded ideas based on the colour of my skin and my gender. I'm grown up enough to understand that a skin colour and a gender does not maketh a person and anyone that thinks so is a sexist and a racist, so I will continue feeling like a hard lefty and fighting the good fight, but I do wonder about other people. I mean my skin is hard. I've survived psychiatric hospital and intensive psychiatric hospital, there's not a lot you can throw at me that I can't work around. What about someone minding their own business and is at the receiving end of that? Anger. God knows what else. She could have still been a friend if race and gender weren't an issue to her, that by some crazy circumstance I was born a white male, and you know, that's fine.

I was told by these people that it was my white male privilege to want a calm and active discussion; nothing to do with my experience in life tells me that people listen better when they are calmer; people are more receptive to suggestion and opinions when one is calm. It seemed that anything I asked for was because of my privilege; that being a man, and that because my skin colour is white that anything I seemed to want, do, or hear was because of my distinct privilege over everyone else, and that I take great privilege in using that against others.

Well, I call bullshit. I think they just wanted to hate on me because of my gender and skin colour. I mean if they REALLY wanted to help the cause they supported they could have asked me a few questions, delved a little deeper into my thoughts. Hell, if these guys really supported what they claimed to be fighting for then they could have networked in with me and hooked up with all the good fight I was fighting.

But no.

It was far easier to hate on the white man. Who cares what he's doing.

Now before we go all ranty on me I have a few things to say. I do recognise my privileges. I'm intensively aware of what I naturally have easier than other people, on gender, on race, on economic standing, on geographical location. But I'm also aware of my distinct disadvantages also. I'll teach my son all this. I'll teach him how to use his privilege to better the lives of others, and I'll teach him to get help with his disadvantages.

But I'm not going to teach him something that divides him right down the middle from other people. I've seen it with my own eyes what it does. I can remember when people would come into our service, apprehensive, maybe even not knowing the language, scared because they aren't from here, but a smile, a free coffee, maybe even a hug is universal -- and it works wonders. We created a very positive, inclusive and progressive environment in that place with everyone; the locals, the immigrants, and the newly landed here. They all meshed very well. The same with my community right now. There is no division, and people get on just fine. Everyone is treated equally and fairly.

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Perhaps things are a bit different in the UK. Here in the US, it is very common for someone non-white, regardless of economic background, to be assumed to be a criminal and/or engaged in wrong-doing. You grew up in a low economic background; your feelings are valid. But the question becomes: have you ever been assumed, on the basis of your skin color, to be a shoplifter, as soon as you enter a shop? Have you ever hung out with a group of your mates, and been told to disperse/questioned about "gang activity"/been randomly searched? Have you ever been told to "go back" to an ancestral homeland you've never seen?

Generally when people say to examine your white privilege, it's because there is a 95% chance that you've never been stopped, arrested, harassed, rejected, suspected, or fired based solely on your skin color.

You're a good guy, @raymondspeaks; it's just that in some parts of the world, you will get a pass or less scrutiny because you are a white male. Heck, it's been documented here in the US that Black people consistently received harsher sentences for the same crimes committed by white people.

I believe you are fighting the good fight and will continue to do so because it's the right thing to do.

Haha! Thanks for the open dialogue Summayah. I was hoping I'd get some insight.

Well, I grew up in an area that was 99.99% white, and we lived in the poor areas, so the Police were always stopping and searching us and suspecting us. There was a known gang in the area, and if you were young, you were suspected.

Also, I get told to fuck off back to my own country more and more now that there's growing tensions between England and Scotland, albeit never for my skin colour.

See, the way you explained it I can accept that. I can accept that there will be things I'll never experience because of my skin colour - I get that. I'll also teach my son that too! And to use it to help others - I just couldn't accept that way I was being assumed solely on a statement that I was making and that no-one bothered to ask me why! And if they did they'd see I was on their side!

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