Perfect Self-Restraint

Rescue me from this insanity, yes please!

Striving for perfection is as futile as trying to avoid failure. You can give it your all, yet sooner or later reality will catch up with ya. Self imposed resistance is one heck of a useful technique to orient your focus in the right direction. But the devil is never too far away, and if you don’t watch over yourself, you may just end up following his footsteps. Some doors are better left unopened, and I wish I would have known better. It’s hard to swallow the painful truth that you can work years to build something, yet a single moment of weakness is all it takes for everything to collapse. Life doesn’t come with the guarantee of justice, yet as I’m laying on the floor trying to pick up the broken pieces of my soul that has turned black, I can’t help but wish it did.

I can scream as loud as I want, flood myself in a river of tears, pray for a higher power to save me from this insanity, yet things will remain as they are. There’s no good to be found in excruciating pain. But there is truth that can be found. And I think I may just have heard it calling my name.

When shit hits the fan, people’s masks fall down. The gap between pretty words and ugly actions start to emerge. I may be back to square one, and even though I feel utterly broken, there’s still the most important part of me that has remained intact through it all, and that is my integrity. Give it away, and you can’t get it back. Actions reveal what inauthentic words conceal.
You can never know someone through and through, no matter how close they are to you. Things are never as they seem. We see reality as we are, not as other people are.