Keep in Touch

Most people who meet me probably think of me as a 'social butterfly'. I'm lively at parties, often excessively so, and from the outside eye, I seem to strike up a conversation with the ease akin to slicing butter with a hot knife.

What these onlookers, or active participants might not realize is that I'm really more of an introvert than an extrovert. What comes off as gregarious and what some have told me is "a skill", is actually something that has taken years of effort and practice to get to.

But just as the tiger can't change his stripes, unobserved and out of the public eye, I automatically revert to my default modus operandi.. The truth is, I'm more of a wallflower than a social butterfly and one of the things that I'm really bad at is Keeping in touch

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No, not with reality.. well, maybe a bit.. but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that thing you say to someone you haven't seen in awhile and probably won't see for awhile afterwards.. "..Let's Keep in touch!"

Ever since as long as I can remember, before the advent of smart phones and grandmothers on facebook, I've been horrible at staying in touch with people. Amazing people who I've met traveling, high school pals and college mates. Ex-girlfriends, old roommates, even my own family (extended and direct).. Numbers are scribbled on a scrap piece of paper and shoved in a pocket, stored preciously in a box that never gets opened. Email addresses are saved, but only spam fills the inbox, probably because of 0 sent messages.

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Now with the advent of pervasive social media, particularly FB, I have no excuses. I get messages urgent and causal alike, and I like them simmer unread, until their tepid, and still they go unanswered.. finally it's been too long, and in my mind I keep meaning to get back to the sender, but eventually I just hope that they, like I, will have forgotten and moved on..

The thumbs up icon is one of the worst inventions in modern history. It makes a impersonal social platform noncommittal.. it's the graphic design equivalent to the popular thai phrase: "up to you.." And I'm the biggest offender!

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I used to speak with pride how I would go off the radar when I was backpacking across America and through Europe. I lauded to anyone who would listen my 'aha' discovery that the more I responded to emails and messages on fb, the more emails and messages I got and therefore the more time I spent responding.. whereas if I went a week without responding, I would have less, two weeks even less, and within a month of not responding to anyone.. 0 new messages.

I felt proud of that accomplishment, and it worked, I guess, when I was young and traveling, but now that I'm older and stagnant, it's undesirable. I put off getting in touch, I wait so long until my mother or family members are contacting my acquaintances to track me down. I always think in my mind how much I appreciate all the unique individuals I have been blessed to meet in my life, how much they mean to me.. but I never bother to call them up or shoot them a line and let them know.

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I bide my time, for what?.. a special occasion? The people that I care about slowly ebb out of my life.. I haven't talked to my best friend from high school in years.. we were inseparable and spend everyday hanging out from first grade until 12th..

I wait and I wait.. I see people hanging out, getting married, having kids.. hell, I'm doing all those things too.. the world just goes by.. and then you die.. people die, and you don't get to say goodbye.. you will never have that chance again to call up your pal and laugh about that time you woke up in the laundry machine in college, or that cool trip to the grand canyon that you took with that couple from alaska. You'll never be able to tell your grandmother "thank you" for being an inspiration.. or "I love you" one last time. Missed opportunities, irreparably gone..

All because.. life goes by.. life goes on.. and I.. I just watch it..

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What about you? Do you have a ' life hack' or some system in place that spurs you to keep in contact with those who are meaningful to you? If you have any tips or tricks, or something that works for you, I'm all ears!

...Until then, stay savvy! 😎