The Many Visages of a Person

tonytrillions (66)in #life • 5 years ago

Have you ever had that moment when you felt like you knew someone, to only find out that you made a poor judgment?

Example:

You met a person who seemed very loyal & friendly.

But 3 weeks into knowing him, you see him gossiping about everyone in the block!

If he talks like this about others, you wonder how he talks about you?

That's because humans have many faces.

In many situations, it's harmless.

But in many situations, it's harmful.

I have a story...

When I was working in Co-op Trust, I remember our company would hire new people all the time.

Co-op was a big firm & had the ability to experiment with new talent.

Saw many people come and go.

One particular person sticks out.

His name was Dave.

One day, I came into the office & I see one of my managers introducing this new guy to the other workers.

He was a short, pudgy dude in his 40s with glasses & a comb over.

The guy looked like a nerd.

My manager made it around a bunch of cubes till he finally got to mine.

'Hey Tony, how are you? There is our new team member, Dave. I have a meeting coming up, do you mind finishing up the tour with him?' my manager asked.

'No, I don't mind at all.'

I made eye contact with Dave, we both smiled at one another, shook hands & began our tour.

Automatically, I noticed Dave was an interesting fellow.

We started getting acquainted with one another & he was quick to begin his jokes.

We were sharing stories as I showed him the cafeteria, coffee lounge & HR office & so on...

Our tour felt quick because we seemed to hit it off.

After the tour, I dropped Dave back to his desk.

'That was a great tour Tony. Looking forward to working with you bro' Dave said enthusiastically.

'Same Dave! Looking forward to it myself.'

As the weeks flew on by I got to know Dave more & more.

But as each week passed by, I began to notice something.

'What?'

He was very negative.

As 2 months went on by, Dave was gossiping, whining & always being a sourpuss.

And what was weird was that he became popular.

He always had all these other negative dudes coming to his desk whining about work.

Talking shit about managers, the new interns, the operations team and much more.

I could feel the negative energy that Dave was producing because he sat right by me.

It felt like a dark cloud had infiltrated our floor.

The guy I met on the first day was WAY different the guy nowadays.

You couldn't tell him a positive story without him finding something negative to say.

To make matters worse, I was partnered up with him in a lot of our projects.

What should have taken us 30 minutes took this clown 3 hours to do!

He was an expert at turning an easy task into one that was difficult as fuck.

As the weeks went by, I went onto learn an important life lesson.

'What was that?'

Dave was never a positive dude.

His mask simply fell off.

I'm sure you know a lot of Dave's.

They start off on a good note.

And as time elapses, it seems like they took a transformation.

But were you ever curious as to why?

It's because of the synthetic mask & authentic core.

Let me explain.

Synthetic mask:

This is the mask we put on in certain situations.

Picture it in relation to your own life.

Are you talking to your parents the same way you talk to your boss?

Do you talk to your boss the same way you talk to your best friend?

No.

You wear different masks with different parties.

'Is this a bad thing?'

No.

In many cases, it is a survival thing.

Every interaction requires a feeling out process.

You are not going to be best friends with everyone from the beginning.

So in order to build trust, you consciously put on a mask until you build rapport.

But in many cases, the synthetic mask can breed something more sinister.

1. Watch how they talk about success:

I've seen losers have a strange fascination about resenting the success. They especially hate celebs.
They are livid about why the Kardashians get paid so much.
Winners? They are too busy chasing a goal to worry about others. Especially strangers they have never met.
Which brings me to the second point.

2. Lack of goals or life purpose:

I should have been able to see through Dave from the get go.
Dude had 0 purpose.
Said he was only showing up to work for the paycheck.
Now granted, I know many winners who do the same.
The temporarily pick up a job they don't really want so they can get some money to fund their side hustle or passion.
But if you don't have a side hustle or passion project, then what is your purpose?
See if there is anything they are working incremental steps toward.

3. Drags feet:

You may laugh at this one, but listen carefully.
The walk is directly correlated to someones life vision.
Do you think a winner who is chasing a legacy drags their feet?
No!
Someone's goals dictate their behavior.
And people who drag their feet often have weak goals or no goals.

These are 3 things you should be aware of.

The first one, will slip every now and then.

You'll notice that their mask will occasionally fall off & they'll give you their true opinion of success.

The second one, you'll have to do some probing.

See what the person is about. Are they shooting to excel at anything? If not, they will resent people who are trying.

The third one is someone you can immediately notice.

Words lie, body language doesn't.

These are 3 things you want to stay alert for!

Avoid the Dave's of the world.

In this steemit blog, we only surround ourselves with winners.

Stay woke & avoid giving time to a bum.

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