The "M" WORD!!

varunpinto (69)in #life • 6 years ago (edited)

Marriage!! YES, that's the word..

The dreaded word has been hounding me (and I am sure most of you) for quite some time now.. And for all the wrong reasons.. Family and friends want to know when I'm going to settle down in to the "Holy Matrimony".. Relatives are suddenly keen on 'helping' me with all the shopping.. I am being told time and again that time is running out.. Is this bothering me?? Oh yeah sure.. It does bother me that the world is bothered that I am 33 and unmarried.. They don't seem to care that I can exercise my freedom to backpack and travel at the drop of a hat; that I take care of myself and don't run out stories or people to laugh with.. Why am I expected to feel bad about not being married??

All through my childhood, I looked at marriage as a game.. A lovely, simple 'Husband-Wife' game.. Not anymore.. I thought I'd grow up to get married to a girl, make my own home, fill it up with love, care, warmth and joy and well, live happily ever after.. And then, I grew up!! Education, friends, situations-especially those at home altered my take on relationships and the larger scheme of things!!

I began to learn little important lessons.. I realized that most of the girls I met are not going to be wife material.. In fact, most of my wedding proposals have prompted me to end an evening with, "Don't call me.. I'll call you.." I learnt that girls I love are not going to always love me back, the way I want them to.. I figured that it's a venus thing really!! Importantly, I began to enjoy my singledom.. I discovered new hobbies, started to cherish times spent with my terrific friends and started to see truth in 'feeling complete without a wife'.. It felt great.. And it still does.. No, don't get me wrong.. There is a world of difference between loving the 'single' status and wanting to be single.. I don't want to be single.. But, love can float out of our lives just as fast as it flew in.. It comes from a spiritual realm.. Sometimes, God is just teaching us something - lets us live it, then it goes away.. The idea of everlasting love isn't often a reality.. We come to this world alone and leave alone.. I see wonder and beauty in life surely, but it extends beyond the fantasy of a Princess in riding boots.. Besides, love can't be plotted or planned.. Have I met the right girl?? A man can wait for the right woman to come along but, that still doesn't mean that he can't have fun with all the wrong ones!! Right??

As for marriage, well honestly, I'm not mentally prepared for it now.. I wonder when I'll ever be.. Yes, I'd love to be married someday!! I dream of little children messing up the house and a loving, caring, warm, supportive wife.. But, marriage is definitely not a bed of roses.. A considerable amount of time and energy goes into keeping the relationship alive.. You should be willing to give it that time and energy.. It's important you find someone you love immensely and trust implicitly, someone you'll love, trust and respect 10, 20 years hence..

Well, the point till crushes, infatuations and affairs is one thing.. Marriage is a different ball game altogether.. A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in individuals and the way they express their love.. The real art of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the temple or church.. It's a choice one makes.. Not just over the wedding day, but over and over again and that choice is reflected in the way one treats one's husband or wife..

Also, I'd like to tell most people to stop giving me bull about 'time running out'.. Time is running out for who?? For what?? Please enlighten me.. I strongly feel and recommend that guys/girls mustn't think of marriage JUST because time is running out.. One must be willing to marry when one feels and knows that it is the right thing to do.. There is no such thing as the 'right age' to get hooked.. I am a working professional.. I have slogged my ass out to get to where I have in my career.. I have bent rules, defied my family and, here I am.. And, I haven't chased my dreams for nothing!!

At this point in my life, marriage is the last thing I want to be thinking of.. Sure, it isn't a five-strikes-and-you-are-out game.. It asks for active involvement, participation from both partners.. There is some giving to do and, some taking.. Love has to grow on one and that ONLY happens over TIME.. So, what is everybody's problem then?? Is the government running out of marriage certificates?? Or is the world running out of women?? Has life become a race?? If yes, I'll happily take my time to reach the end AND do it on my own terms, Thank-you-very-much!!