San Francisco street photography, friends edition - 11 original photos from Dec 27 2017

My father (not pictured) never really had any friends. I realized this later. Professional acquaintances and people from the church sure, but lately I realized that he never really had any actual friends. And for a long time I didn't either, like it was something not done by proper dutchmen. Seemingly true for his brothers and my mom's brothers, except one.

George (not pictured) had a neighbor building a garage when I got a tour. Describing what he had done, it was like a part time job. He told me Brian had helped him drill a well (by hand) and I realized that they probably didn't count hours. At the time I was trying to bill everyone for everything. Like a lawyer who won't give advice over cocktails, I wasn't going to be taken for granted. I remember realizing at the time that these guys probably weren't keeping score.

A pioneer returned to northern Alberta with a fancy US degree. I was going to carve a hold on the barren world and stake new ground. Claiming my right, I would master my domain. I built a business, got a mortgage, didn't really have any friends and for some reason my first wife didn't want to stay around.

Scott claimed to not seek money, yet he was all about trying to set off liabilities against home made bonds. It was a pretty fascinating dichotomy, and he was excited to help me understand. He didn't bill me for the education, though I probably made him more than a couple meals. Because I was still in the trade this for that phase. Looking back, I think he was well beyond. He literally owned nothing but gave everything he had.

Cheryl and I left Phoenix to try anything else. Photographers there are probably working again now, but there was a time when architectural photography was literally over. No work, flat broke, and family telling us to apply at fast food.

We soon met others who in a similar financial place. I didn't know how many people were living in RV's full time, some at the campground hadn't moved in years. I noticed those with RV's (and titles, registered) still had the pretence, they were still kinda like my dad - upwardly and financially mobile, still hoping to staking their rightful claim in a cruel world.

It was the ones without the RV's that really taught me something. When everything one owns is in their backpack, there is a corresponding humility, there is a sense that their Abrahamic mission has failed, they will never have the economic resources of an oligarch. It seems like once they let go of their attachment to building mountains of things, it seems their life changes. I'm not sure I've entirely put the idea away, its a scar that may last my entire life. Still I've had enough time off its track to begin to see the significance.

When all possessions are replaceable in a thrift store for $20, theft stops being a main concern. Once one is able to let go of the idea of ownership, it seems there is a real liberation. Owning that camera bag and this computer, we never got there. But we got close, and we got to spend time with plenty who did. Leahroy could leave her tent for hours and worry not at all. Met another guy who made glassware, if he lost everything it would cost about $300 to rebuild. Like all of them, he didn't really care because he was on food stamps and the new batch would be coming out shortly.

Years ago I met homeless guy in Edmonton. Thats a commitment, being homeless up there. Some tv crew helped him and Diane find a place, get furniture, success! Three months later they were back on the street. He described trying to pay bills and the rent and just said forget it. He was about the least stressed soul I've ever met.

I don't really know the story of these two in these pictures. I don't know their names or where they're from. I'm sure they each have a story of personal goals, dashed, then a sense of liberation when they finally let it go.

It wasn't until I really needed others that I learned what friendship actually was. A guy named David made it crystal clear what it meant to be decent and loving. Maybe I heard him because at that moment, I was finally ready to learn.

We had no fief, couldn't pay for weeks in a hotel, no credit card to bail us out when cornered. Until we got a job and section 8 housing, the bank of mom and dad was apparently closed. Tough love, they were helping us, see.

After a couple years of this I'm beyond many levels of judgement previously held; I realize the real solution to friendship is to base one's future on relationships built now. For those who are looking to long term security in the form of dollar bills, they mostly just call me lazy and justify not helping someone who won't help themselves. Yet those that have nothing, they somehow look at me like I too am free and then immediately try to help with whatever they can. It really is nearly 100% consistent.

Money that loses its spending power is not real security, its a game boomers play to protect themselves when they're old. They didn't build relationships with people who will voluntarily help later, instead they built a financial obligation network where full faith in banks is backed by credits previously socked away. But beyond their control, the credit buying power diminishes over time, and lately it seems to be getting worse. All boomers know this, so they figure to sock away even more. As they get older, their growing loss of control makes them squeeze every opportunity harder.

People about 60 years old now almost always have either friends, or savings. New millionaires are the worst. They trust no one, because to them, everyone might be in it for the money, and they have no idea how to tell the difference. The chairs in their theatre rooms are pristine and the carpet has no stains, because no one has ever lived there. Its all protected. No one feels free to explore, create, or do anything remotely out of control for fear of damage to stuff.

My theory is that when we lose our attachment to the security of money, then we gain an ability to be friends. I have almost no examples of rich people having close friends, and endless examples of poor people being decent loving and generous.

©2017 ramsayphotography