Your life belongs to you

If you cannot be you, what should you do?
Nothing if it doesn't bother you. Keep in mind most people play a role or even more as just one role every day of their life.
Fact is most of us will never be able to be (grow into) the person we really are.
It is easy to say, but hard to do.
Parents, family, school(teachers), religion and society create us the way they want us to be.

How to be (or find) yourself?
That will be hard, simply because your likes and dislikes, life experiences and all the (life)lessons you have had will not make you an open minded person. You can try to ignore your opinions, the lessons you learned, but still they are there. You will never be that white, unwritten piece of paper.
The only way to find yourself is to raise yourself, to stay alone, live alone. Spend a lot (most of the time) with you.

Accept and love yourself first!
There is no way anybody can make you happy (for the rest of your life). The only one who can do so is... you!
Therefore you need to find out what your personal needs are.
Keep in mind that your personal needs have nothing to do with pleasing other people, taking care of other people.
If you always did do so and refuse to go on the same way, they might call you selfish, heartless, etc and will manipulate you in the most worse way.
Yes it is even possible they do not like to be befriended with you any longer.

The good news is a true friend will understand your needs, someone who is manipulating you is not a true friend and will dump you sooner or later anyway.

Your responsibility is you (and your kids).
Adults are responsible for themselves, it is their life and their life-journey!
If you always help out other people you will take away their chance of developping themselves!
Save your energy for yourself! You deserve it.

Do not invest in other people day and night.
If you not want to be disappointed, be broke (emotionally as well) you need to invest in yourself first.
If you do so you will not shouting for me-time, since you have it already.
If you are happy the people around you are too. A happy person will send positive energy to the world.

Be realistic nobody is happy 24/24.

Ask yourself why you are helping out everybody.
Stop taking care of others. Are you really doing it to help them out or does it simply give you a good feeling about yourself?
Does someone elses misery makes you a better person?
Does it give you positive energy at all? Is it worth all the trouble, the sleepless nights?

Are you sure the people you help, will help you out too in times of need?

There is no good or right.
Like said before, life is a journey. No matter who you are or what you do, life lessons, experiences, are part of it. It is a way to find yourself.
Note that every society has its own rules. You have the possibility to choose an other society, to start a new life, to make new friends (isn't it great there is internet?). There is no need to wait. You are the one who has to take the steps.

So now you are alone, abandoned, depressed...
More and more people are. Isn't that strange in an overcrowded world?

If you frequently feel depressed visit a doctor. A lack of vitamine D3 (sunlight) can be the reason. Most people have a lack of it. Also if it runs into the family, visit a doctor. There are meds which can help you, also certain therapies can.
If you visit a shrink for 8 years or longer the help is useless. So go for that change, there is nothing to loose.

The only one who can help you out of your depression, loneliness, boredom and fears is you.
Write down what is bothering you and face it (with or without help from other people).
It is nothing to be ashamed about to feel miserable once in a while, cry about lost changes, your health. Have certain fears or a period of sleepless night.

Fact is we need time to grieve, to feel sad, to heal and mind, soul and heart will take all the time in the world they need. They do not care about the human body getting older or lost chances. If you keep ignoring it, your nightmares, pain, fears, depressions and anger will only increase.

You can not change what happened to you, nor change what people did to you, but the future is in your hands.

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