I don't know what I want, but I know this is not what I want.
"The world is so big, I want to go out and explore." This is a very popular quote a few years ago. Maybe I don't know what I want, don't know what I like, but I know that this type of life is not what I want. And the world is so big, there must be something that I like, the life that I want to live, so I want to go out to explore, look at the world, find what I like.
The world will keep on going doesn’t matter who leaves, the world won’t stop going even if you want to change a lifestyle.
I don't know what my dream is, I don't know what I want, I live every day to be what my family wants, and work hard all my life for the expectations of others.
Is this really the life I want?
At first, I liked to complain, complaining about how bad the path my family has chosen for me, complain about how bad work is, how bad about everything, complain about how I hate everything.
However, after complaining, the next day like nothing happened, continue going back to work, get off from work.
After a while, when having a bad day at work, and start complaining to my family again.
Now when I think about it, it's really childish. It's not that I hate my life now, it's just that I don't want to be in this job. I just don't want to work in this job, and this job is chosen by my family, so I want to complain and express my dissatisfaction.
However, this won't change anything, other than your parents who care for you listen to your nagging, perhaps they will also feel guilty about whether their decision was wrong.
But nothing is changed.
What really determines your future life will not be your parents, they will only want your life to be better, so they will interfere with your choices.
And when you really make a choice, whether it's listening to them, making a choice, or the choice you want, in the end, they'll silently support you.
Your life will always depend only on your own choices.
Lately, I talked to my friends who also don't like their current life and work.
After working for a period of time, it is not only their current life, work is not satisfied, former classmates, roommates, friends, their own status quo is not satisfied, some have even changed two or three times jobs.
So the people like us, we started complaining to each other about life, then said wanted to resign, finding people to start a business together, start-up together.
At first, I was very interested, will also come up with some ideas from time to time, I think if someone takes the lead, they will resign to start their own business.
But soon I found out that it was all just empty talk, and everyone was counting on others to take the lead.
They just don't want to work in their current job, complain a bit, if someone really wants to start a business, they will only quit and join others.
But the vast majority will only have the thought, they said countless times wanted to resign, but don't even know the format of the resignation letter. Even if resigned, they will not start a business, and get into the next pit, after a while, starting to complain and wanting to resign again.
So gradually, I went from being a participant to a visitor, because I didn't know if they were just complaining about their current situation or really wanting to start a business.
I didn't know which kind did I belonged to, so I started saying to myself, I will resign after I finished this project. However, when the project is finished, the idea of resigning get plains, and then said to myself, after I finished the next project, I will resign.
At this time I understand that my previous complaints may because of the current dissatisfaction, just want to leave, as to start a business or not, is not that important. This is just to cover up the discontent inside and make up a reason.
Your thoughts are not necessarily the life you really seek.
Now, I want to make a decision in silence. I don't know if my thinking is mature now; I don't know if my thoughts are just complaint; I also don't know, what I'm thinking now is the right way.
But if I don't try, I won't know what the result is; If I don't go out and explore, I won’t know how wonderful the world is.
I think when I make up my mind, I won't say to anyone that I'll just silently hand in my resignation letter, pack up my luggage, and talk to my family the day before I leave.
And then go toward, the dream road that I'm looking for.
Don't know what you want, don't know your dreams, but find what you want, find your own dreams as a temporary dream may also be a good choice.
Your choice, only by going through it, only then you will know the result.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://www.knowkpop.com/i-dont-know-what-i-want-but-i-know-this-is-not-what-i-want/