How writing is changing my life – [The pilgrimage of a zoexanthellae]

A baby surrounded with art.
The lights shine on her eyes.
A child's book waiting to be read.

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"Hi there, mom! This abstract is the perfect playground for my mind!"

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When I was three years old, I discovered how to interpret printed symbols into meaning. From there, I have been reading non-stop. It's my predilect hobby, the sustentation of my scientific vein and a great way of travelling beyond my mind's borders. Perhaps you can relate to that feeling about the multiverse of books.

I developed a taste for correct spelling, orthography and grammar. As a hobby, I subconsciously search for details in literally everything that crosses my path: publicity, signalization, articles, magazines, books, everything I can read. I know it sounds a little maniac but I love the proper use of language.

In my posts I have mentioned several times the artistic background in which I grew up. Listening about art since early ages gave me interest in forms, colours, symmetry, textures: elements that you can perceive in nature as well as in art creations.

Science seemed like an obvious pick for me, being innately curious and methodic, as my family used to say while watching me play. One can encounter art in doing science and science in doing art.

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Having these facts about me in consideration, you may understand why I believe that the opportunity of curating exceptional content on Steemit is like a dream come true for me. How could I ever get bored of detailed reading/appreciating/constructively criticizing great posts? I wouldn't know. I feel specially identified with the @curie project, for example, and I'm about to explain you why.

In 2009, my grandmother gave me an outstanding gift during my teenage years: the biography of the illustrious Marie Curie, written by her daughter Eva Curie. She had the gesture of adding photographs, taken from the Internet and printed, to some pages of the book. She did this to complement my reading and give me context about the flesh-and-bone woman who succeeded in such a relevant way.

Marie Curie's life, not exempt of troubles but with the right dose of happiness (according to herself), inspired me to become a scientist and to try to pursuit excellence of my own. The @curie project clicked right away on me because it reminded me that book and what it taught me.

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I must tell you that not everything has been colours and flowers. I've undergone a series of hard times: familiar disgregation, alexithymic periods, and a daily worsening economic crisis to the point we, my family and I, can't even get to eat properly in terms of nutrition. It's quite tough to talk about the accumulative and destructive effect of these conditions.

I even had a creative vacuum that lasted years and left me without a scape valve, clueless about how to deal with pressure and depression. I’ve felt like a stranger trapped in my own body. I longed my own death for days, weeks, months. I kept wondering, am I the biggest mistake ever?

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BUT (yes! there is a but, thanks to all that's good in this world) then, I found a platform in which the words, the ideas and the healing started flowing. Every post as a new opportunity to introspect, to express, to improve on the things that I said that I love: reading, writing, science, art. To talk about the accumulative and benefic effects of this environment it easier, and I'd love to share that with you now, if you continue going through this post.

I am connected, not only to other humans through empathy but to myself. Most people never realize the importance of being connected with oneself, and I’m glad I am feeling myself now. I’ve changed physiologically and my body hasn't yet got used to it entirely. I no longer feel numb and disconnected. My heart beats faster. My brain reacts in more complex ways.

It's hard to get asleep because the ideas keep coming in, nonstop. For now, I rest less but I'm productive as you wouldn't imagine. I do hope it stabilizes a bit so I can get some deep, dreamless sleep.

Everything feels different. Where did the shady, blurry tones go? How come I enjoy the sunlight so much again? Believe me when I tell you it all looks so bright, in a way that doesn't hurt my eyes anymore. I can see the beauty in a stormy sky and the sounds of rains as well as in the brackish warmth of a sunny beach day. I don't understand completely this process I'm undergoing; I'm just enjoying the ride.

Don't think I have quitted being realistic. I'm aware that not every day is going to be as clear. Caracas, the city I live in, is a hostile place to be, not compatible with the feather-like lightness of soul I'm experiencing today. Quoting a dear friend, “puede que esta sea la ciudad de la furia pero yo soy el exceso” (in english, “this may be the city of the fury but I am the excess”). Despite that, I'm now able to look at myself and see not only heavyweight flaws but the good traits that make me what I am. I decide to be patient, I decide to be better. In the present, I'm more human than ever. I feel whole.

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Those who were portrayed next to me in the photographs I showed you above are keystones in my life. I want them to know how valuable, outstanding and exceptional they are. I would like to be able to spare them the existence of such things as unnecessary suffering, judgmental behaviors, self-destructive habits, conformism. Believe me, these are amazing persons who have been there for me, one way or another, and nothing would please me more than to retribute somehow the received love and support through what I hope have been my darkest time. To them I say: thank you, infinitely. ❤️

To the warmhearted welcoming users of Steemit who have guided me and read me patiently in the 39 days I’ve been here, I say: thank you very much too. Bees work all together for the sake of the hive. 💛

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^{All photographs are my property, taken by family or friends. Unless otherwise stated.}