RESOLVING CONFLICTS

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INTRODUCTION

Conflicts, while sometimes precursor to family and friendships dysfunction, and even divorce is an inevitable part of human existence. Therefore, it is hard to believe individuals who say, "We never argue-we agree on everything" . Those who make this claim are the present cause for conflicts as one or both parties could be suppressing their feelings for the sake of making peace . Conflict can flare up over simple things from a towel left on the floor, to something complex as finances. But, whatever the reason or root cause, there is potential for a disagreement to escalate to explosive levels.
We often view conflicts as negative. We make every possible attempt to avoid it. However, there are some positive aspects to conflict, and if approached in the right way, it can strengthen relationships.

Positive Aspects of Conflicts

1. Conflicts present more than one view of a situation, which can lead to better solutions.
2. Conflicts build self-confidence, if you are able to formulate and freely express your point of view.
3. Where. conflicts are addressed and resolved, they provide a sense of accomplishment, mutual understanding and peace. We are able to move ahead without constantly going back to unresolved issues.

Major reasons why conflicts escalate is the unhealthy approaches to conflict resolution. Consider the following unhelpful approaches.

1. Name calling transforms the discussion back to a personal attack on an individual rather than a mature attempt to address issues.
2. Physical abuse
3. Becoming historical by bringing up past grievances, this only elevate tension and usually leads off further way from resolution of the current situation.
4. Silent treatment or ignoring.

Now, let's talk about different ways to resolve issues. I call it the Better Way.

1. Define the problem, when the problem is clearly defined, it keeps the discussion focused and the conversation productive
2. Listen to the other party intently and with an open mind. Most times our failure to listen to what the other person is saying make us perhaps miss gaining another perspective and solution to the problem.
3. Ask clarifying question not doubting questions.
4. Restates what the other person has said. This prove that you have a clear understanding of the person point of view, then you restate their opinion in your own words which implies that you respect their views
5. Do not interrupt, if you are fearful that you may forget, jot them down and spare them when it's your turn to speak.
6. Treat others with respect. As you listen and present your point of view, it should be done with respect for the other person feelings and opinions. Interrupting, ignoring or yelling do little or nothing in resolving anything.

CONCLUSION
I hope this approach helps you guys to get over conflicts and have a very fruitful and meaningful relationships.
Remember I call it the THE BETTER WAY