food for the soul
When I don't feel good, food has no appeal. Several months ago, going out for takeout was not even appealing. I didn't want to pick up food. I wanted to stay still. Pain had put me in a stupor. Even the THOUGHT of sitting at the piano was challenging. And the times I played, I cried through my pieces. Sitting with the truth of a body knocked off center, saddened me.
The pain persists but life is different for me. There's real groceries in my refrigerator and I'm cooking again. My kitchen creativity is below my average but I churn out a winner here and there. At least I'm eating again.
My left hip is my nemesis. I'm not crying at the piano but I find myself annoyed at moments. I play and then I get up and pace or stretch and lie down on my piano bench. Songs are interrupted. Maybe I play to the end. The session becomes a wrestling match to placate my frustrations.
I play to win. I live to win.
I enjoyed a meal with a friend I hadn't seen in a year. It would've been easy to say no and stay in bed.
Pain can try to starve and wear down one's spirit. I share mine in hopes to encourage those of you being strong despite your own pain. I hope you see the tiny milestones you make and celebrate them. Stay strong and love life fiercely.
JNET
Steepshot
I don't know if you play mechanically or ever lose yourself in the passion of the song you are playing. If the latter, can you lose your uncomfortable feeling for even a brief moment losing yourself in song?
I do escape pain for bits of time here and there. But when I want to study a new piece, sometimes pain or my legs falling asleep distract me. The tricky part is finding a clearing of no pain to take off from. I do lots of things on my side to be proactive....stretching, supplements, making sure I get good sleeps in. Fortunately, I'm gaining better clearance for take off. I spent several months earlier this year in a silent stupor. It's been a slow but steady mend. I'm not exactly ready to put on my dancing shoes but at least I'm feeling more socialable. I'm grateful to have friends that visit and check on me often.
Good. I hope that with every day you find yourself feeling better till one day you realize that you haven't felt pain/discomfort for awhile.
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