Challenging Love to Be Unconditional - Part 15

Transition!

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Birthday Intermission
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14

My two teenage children were still living at home.
Their father traveled extensively throughout the years,
had become increasingly absent the previous two years,
and moved out of the house and the picture many months ago.
The kids and I were quite accustomed to it being the three of us together at home,
living life our way and creating our own balance.

Our house was, as it always was,  the gathering place.
We often had children sleeping on couches,
foreign students staying on exchange, travelers passing through,
friends/family needing a place to stay,
swim team/birthday/holiday/enjoyment-of-today parties,
And the place to talk about taboo subjects and explore unusual perspectives.

Quinn coming into the picture amplified some of these realities,
While others no longer seemed in flow.

Since Quinn was so close in age to my children
(only about 5 years older than my son),
having Quinn in the house as my significant other was quite a shift for my kids.
They had been used to a father figure who would try to direct them
toward a semi-traditional competent adulthood.  
Quinn’s place wasn’t to direct them,
and he certainly wasn’t anything about tradition.

There was a quite a big time of adjustment at the beginning
while I was spending more time with Quinn,
and his eventual more frequent visits and permanent move into our home.  
There was definitely love, hope and honor, as well as jealousy, fear and judgment,
(which would come and go throughout the years) as I embraced the power of this relationship.

After getting over their initial shock of Quinn’s and my relationship really taking hold,
The kids eased into the flow of the more open perspective Quinn brought to the table.
As unschoolers, they took advantage of  the freedom, relaxed environment,
And non-demanding nature of things at the house.

We cooked together, played games with their friends,
Talked philosophy of life, and celebrated some holidays with Quinn’s family.
Quinn even made a surprise birthday breakfast for my daughter as one of his sweet little gestures.

Almost all fun and games was a great way
to open the doors for Quinn’s entry into my home.
My son was already in his late teens.  
In the absence of  his father in the house,
he was keeping a closer eye in watching out for his sister and me.  

Gratefully, Quinn didn’t attempt to assume the role as head of the household,
or pressure the kids to behave a  certain way.  
There wasn’t confrontation, coercion, manipulation or control
as often times a partner might play when joining a household.  

I worked diligently to keep the balance with my two very important worlds -
my super involvement in my children’s lives,
and simultaneously  my soul-shattering relationship with Quinn.

Quinn fit in perfectly into the world my mind created as a free thinker,
yet gave rise to great opportunity to figure out who I was,
and how free, yet responsible I could be, but yet wasn’t.

I wanted to give my kids more freedom (without enabling them),
And I wanted to be freer myself.
The stress free, less encumbered life was unfolding before my very eyes.
Everyday I was immersed in the love that surrounded  me,
thoughI became more increasingly aware still how limited that love was.

Being free isn’t all as easy as it sounds--not for a conditioned mind anyway.
Though I had been on the path of a conscious existence for many, many years,
I still had many layers to uncover, acknowledge, accept and change.
Talking about it and wading in the water is something entirely different than
Full-on immersion in living it.

My ex was not about unschooling or any of that freedom talk
(which I believe to be one of the major thrusts in the dissolution of our marriage).
Being with Quinn, who was free not only in his body, but more importantly in his mind,
showed me great contrast to what I was really living and who I was BEing.
It was apparent to me that I had some more serious introspection to do
to become the person I truly wanted to be.

Go with me on the journey toward Unconditional Love!

Stay Tuned for Part 16