Challenging Love to Be Unconditional - Part 52

in #love5 years ago

RUNNING TOWARD FEAR


Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Birthday Intermission Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20Intermission No. 2 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Intermission No. 3 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Intermission No. 4 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Intermission No. 4 Part 51



I simply knew that change needed to happen, and that my fearful energetics had been holding up progress.  I knew what the most powerful thing I could possibly do was to face this fear head on. I had already weighed the potential, and knew my decision would affect way more than just myself.

As my children had grown and moved on to their own lives and places, I questioned the chances that they will ever want to come back and live with me, and help take responsibility for taking care of all that needed attention here. At the present point in their lives, I knew I would be holding on to a pipe dream, and holding space for something that may or may not ever happen.  I didn’t want to be tied to a place or an idea of what could be a slight possibility someday for their return, counting on them to fulfill my own dream of being together again.  Nor did I want to take care of a place this large by myself, or be a slave to maintaining it should the Garden of Eden be stunted or disappear because I was holding on to my own selfish ideas.



The magic that was happening at the Garden of Eden had already changed the lives of many in unimaginable ways.  Not only the locals were engaging our offerings, but people from all over the world were getting a taste of something they had never seen or even imagined before.  I knew there was great power in what we were doing that may have lasting effects on the world as a whole as we held space for a shift in consciousness, building lives based on the power of love.  No where else in my travels or discoveries had I seen or heard of what was transpiring here.  Quinn’s clear vision indeed held unlimited answers.  It was pointedly obvious to me that I had to let go. 



I imagined my fears being lifted.  I imagined my own energetics being upgraded for releasing attachment to ideas and fears and expectations.  I felt my heart joyous in allowing newness to take hold and for the beauty being shared with others in immeasurable ways.

Things didn’t actually go as I imagined, however.  My kids were understandably hurt when I told them of my decision to donate the land that was once their childhood home, now known as the @gardenofeden, to Quinn and his vision.



I didn’t have enough words to share the magic of what was happening here and how keeping it all for myself was not only selfish, but a huge waste of resources.  Many people we knew had large places to themselves, living the American dream where each person was a king or queen of their own castle.  But I had realized that trying to keep it as only mine was limiting the access for others, and was actually pinching off the flow of energy which could help others see the possibility of a life built on love.  After all, what good is a gold mine if it isn’t shared?

Though I knew my kids could feel the genuineness of my desire to share, they also had their own feelings about wanting to keep it in the “family”.  They loved it here, and they could imagine their children coming here and climbing the trees and roaming the land as they once did.  But I could see hundreds of children being able to have that luxury.  It could be years and years before grandchildren would appear in my reality, and if I were selfish enough, I could have just sat here and waited for that to happen.  


Many people I knew, including their dad, had plenty of money,  plenty of space, and plenty of resources.  But their abundance was only meant for one person, and perhaps their own little circle of loved ones.  All the money in the bank wasn’t doing anything but adding numbers to a piece of paper.  I didn’t see how it was helping anyone.  All the land, the rooms in the houses, even the random things like ladders and dining room table were not put to optimal use.   I didn’t want to wait to share, and I didn’t want to keep others from the possibility of seeing another way.  I wanted to engage it NOW, and I wanted to do it big.  Gifting the house for a grand purpose felt great to me.



It took a long time for my kids to come to terms with my decision.  They didn’t see what I saw, and they had no idea the true impact or potential impact the @gardenofeden was having or could have on people’s lives.   I felt solace in knowing that their dad also had way more than enough of everything that would one day be theirs alone.  Though I felt grounded and sound in my decision, my children were not the only ones who would question my sanity!


Little tricklings of fear and disbelief also came from a few of my friends, showing me the mirror that I still was not energetically completely free in the giving.  My friends would say to me “What are you doing?  This is your nest egg!  You and your husband worked all of your lives for this place!  What will you do about retirement?  What will your kids do without their inheritance?”  So many questions and comments I could tell were all based on fear.


I was reminded that when someone has put a lot of energy into something, it becomes more valuable in their eyes.  Having put years into this place, it had gained a lot of value for me and for my children.  I certainly had some lingering feelings about that.  I easily, however, saw that the comments were coming mostly from women my age who had also been through a divorce and were working hard to have a stable life on their own.  Many struggled to make ends meet, and giving away such a huge chunk of their estate was not only out of the question, but terrifying!

Part of the magic of letting go for me was also letting go of my attachments from the past, as well as the fear for the well-being of my children and for myself in the future.   Having asked the questions and showing their concern helped me to clearly root myself in the knowing that I will never want for a roof over my head.  I need not fear something that has not come to pass, and that my focus on abundant grace would manifest that into my life.  I felt secure that I would never want for money or stability.  I had finally learned that stepping into the unknown and having faith that the Universe will always provide, was actually comforting.  I didn’t have to hold on out of fear.  I didn’t have to worry.  I didn’t have to strive.  I didn’t have to concern myself that there would never be enough.  I didn’t have to work constantly for the illusion of control.



Considering that most people work all their lives to own their own home, and are slaves to a job to pay for a house for 30+ years, I found myself genuinely blessed.  I even felt relieved of the burden of worry and strife.  My knowing that all was well, and actually better than well, was a huge gift I had unknowingly given to myself. 



The feelings of my children were intense for me.  Processing their energy and staying true to my knowing tore me up in side for some time.  I felt that one day they would see my part in a grand awakening, and be grateful that I followed my heart without attachment to "things".  It wasn’t at all that my love for Quinn shined brighter than my love for my children.  What it came down to was what was I going to do with my life, and how I could best invest my resources to truly make a difference. Was I going to live from a place of fear?  Or a place of love and potential?  I chose the path that was the most likely to have the greatest impact on the world.   And I chose the path that required me to face some of my greatest fears - primarily the well-being of me and my family.



I had no doubt that Quinn would amplify that which I was sharing.  I knew he would make more of it than I ever could or would, and that many more people would benefit from his clarity.  Quinn never before made mention of me gifting him the land, though could feel my genuine offer as a gift from my soul.  I had always felt that we were going to do something great together, and I was blessed to see the rewards of our combined efforts come into fruition.


I have found that when there is something from which I want to run, that is exactly the place to run toward.  That is the place, though the most touchy place, is actually the place that provides the most growth and the most potential for unfathomable life change.


I have come to realize that in giving we actually receive.  Giving a sandwich to a stranger not only helps the stranger, but gladdens our hearts, keeps the love in flow and raises the world’s vibration.  In gifting my home I have been generously rewarded in return.   I still have a "home".  I still have "security".  I still have everything I ever had, and a heart that is more full and more open than I could have ever imagined.  I believe karma is real, and I feel the truth of it playing out loud and clear.


Thousands of people have benefitted from what I shared, and the energy for Quinn’s vision was not held back by my fears, but blossomed through his fearless knowing of the divine nature of infinite potential.



Thank you for reading my blog and for going on this journey with me toward Unconditional Love!

Stay Tuned for Part 53

Check out the @gardenofeden website too to see how we're doing our part to change the world.





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What a wonderful heart you possess? Giving is not different from receiving to those that truly understand how it works. When you let go of those things you are holding in your hand, you are gaining joy unspeakable for your soul in return as well.

How would you have enjoyed the uniqueness of those that have benefited from what's going on in the garden of Eden if you chose to keep the whole place to yourself and your children?

What a wise decision you made, and see how it beautiful it has become.

Many have benefited from your action, many are still benefiting from it and many more would still benefit from it.

The beautiful thing is that I am part of those that would still be benefiting from it God's willing... Hahhaha
I've embarked on the process like I sent to you in the chat, but I need your response to take any further step. Can't wait to live my dream right there in the garden of Eden.

Letting go and embracing have been a huge theme in my relationship with him and I am ever so grateful for the opportunity to make such major change in my life that has benefitted so many. I see that you already are benefitting from that which is the @gardenofeden. May it be so that you get a tangible and juicy experience in the flesh!! Excited for the possibility!

You are a rare gem by letting go of your possession for the confortability of others, many would rather cater for themselves while many around them are in great need.

Though, coming over require lot of process, effort and money, but I'm ready to give it all it takes to live in the reality of my dream. I want to be reborn, I want to grow and I want to enjoy all you've been enjoying from the vision of quinine. Giving so much for this one dream is a decision worth making.... Smiles

I am eternally blessed to live this reality and so grateful others of like mind are doing it with me. It's beautiful how you can feel that and even live it inside your heart while not yet being here.

That's how powerful dream is, you believe in it reality until it become the reality. Can't wait to have those experiences as you guys have been having it. Much love from me to you all in the garden.

Much love back to you @emmakkayluv.

Hello darling! Life has become truly busy for me of late, in a good way for the most part haha, and I just realized it had been some time since I had checked in on your story- now I'm excited to have so much more to read! Worked out well! Just wanted to drop a comment and let you know I'm still with you and send you my love dear heart! xoxox

So grateful for your stopping in @dreemit. I've been super busy and mostly off my computer recently, though beginning to feel the tug to continue my story. It's great to know someone out there is reading it--glad it's you!

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