How Ed Sheeran is screwing with you.

I've been thinking about Ed Sheeran, you know, like you sometimes do. Well, I don't really, just now, 'cause I've got a song of his stuck in my head – Perfect – I'm sure you know it, it's practically on every radio station, on every playlist etc. And well, it's okay, I mean it's a pretty good song. The guy is likable and all and besides, it gives a lot of girls food for dreams.
And that's just the problem, I realized, as I listened to the lyrics.

Fighting against all odds I know we'll be alright this time Darling, just hold my hand

They're too idealistic. I mean I get it, they describe that hopeful feeling of when you're first in love and wish you and your partner would never be apart. That eternal dream that somehow this is it, that nothing will hurt you, nothing will weaken the bond between you. But it's just a wish. It's cute and all, but just wishful thinking. I was wondering about how many cases of such a story there are out there? A handful, probably.

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In case you haven't followed, it's that typical we met young, fell so much in love and now we're crazy for each other and know we'll be alright, we'll be together forever, we can overcome anything etc.

But the sad truth is, in reality, most people can't. There is usually something that tears people apart. I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's more true to life. More often than not, people aren't dancing in the dark, thinking about the perfect angel they've just met and how great their life together will be.
Because that's sappy. And because they have more pressing concerns. Sometimes stupid ones, like the hot waitress who keeps giving him the eye. Sometimes not to stupid ones like how are they going to handle a kid together or what if he doesn't really believe I can be more than his perfect angel? We need to figure out rent money and a new diaper bag, the groceries won't bring themselves in from the store, nor will the house vacuum on demand. Your mother won't automatically like him and even though you say it won't, it will get to you, little by little. One nasty comment at the right time is all it takes for either of you, really. You're already pissed at him and then she says something, just adding to the fire. It could be the beginning of the end and often is. All it takes is a wrong step.
And what about the relationships who don't just have the potential to end, but to turn disastrous? What about all those stories where people spend years being abused, living in fear, or just not having their needs met, but being too lonely to leave?

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These stories are far more common than we like to think. Far more common that Ed Sheeran's angels in the snow theme, too. In fact, something struck me as funny (well, funny in a sad way, but still) when I looked him up. It turns out his most famous love songs are about different people. Isn't that weird?

“Photograph” is about Nina Nesbitt (a singer, apparently), whom he broke up with in 2012. “Thinking Out Loud” is about Athina Andrelos, they broke up in 2015. After that, he started a relationships with a long time friend and they're now married. Presumably, “Perfect” is about her.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not judging him. That's life, it's messy, it's a lot of break-up and heartache. I get it. But that's exactly it – the angel story rarely happens and all these girls who idolize him (because let's face it, he's a great dude, but it's mostly girls), well, he's not doing them any favors. He's promoting a lovey-dovey picture and they believe it should be like that. It's not. It can't be. Now, of course it's not Sheeran's fault, there's been plenty of love song singers in time and it fits really well with that in-love state where you see the other person like your heaven on earth.

But then, it doesn't work out and you find you had silly expectations in your head – that you'd be angels in the snow together forever and what not. And that's not good. You don't want to be taken out of the song. You don't want to cringe and get all weepy whenever you hear it.

And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're seventy And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23

But he didn't. And that's the truth, that you don't. You get your heart broken and you break people's hearts in turn. You hurt others and others hurt you and it's awful and it tears at your guts and you think you'll never love again. And then you think there's something wrong with you – because if Ed Sheeran can have a perfect relationship, why can't you?

But he doesn't and I wish these people would promote more of that, you know? Flawed relationships, because that's what you're likely gonna get. Because you're a flawed person. You're not some generic boy and she's not some generic girl. You've both been fucked over, hurt, betrayed, you've seen the nasty side more than once, your heart's bandaged up a bit. And that can't be a perfect relationship.

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I mean, it figures that all these young girls are going crazy after Sheeran. He's promising them a knight in shining armor. But that dude's not coming. The one who is probably coming might very well hurt you or might prove to be disappointing. You need to get used to that. If you keep waiting for the angel, you're setting yourself up for a lot of hurt, my friend.

Again, the knight on white horse ain't coming and if you believed he was...well, that' s partly on you. I know, but you really should try and be more realistic. Listen to some sad songs for a change, those are a lot more likelier to happen, I'm afraid.

Pain, mistakes, abandonment, missed chances, betrayal – life's full of that shit. And it's great. It's just...it's not (just) about angels in the snow, you know?

Thank you for reading,