Self Talk

There its already begun! Did you notice it? That voice in the head whether its reading, reacting to an outside experience or just daydreaming, there's different levels of chatter in different people and some are more aware of it than others. There are some actually who will tell you that they don't have a voice in their head, others will tell you there's one, and other people have even more than one voice in their heads.

This title "Self Talk" is the only real way to label it because as its hard to grasp if you use the work "Thinking". As soon as the ears hear this word, the voice would start to talk by commenting on just that word "Thinking". The thinking would get baffled if it was to think about thinking, and so we stick with the 2 words - Self Talk - so we don't get lost in confusion. If its easy for you to know when your thinking then that's the start to taking back power, and you are well on your way to having a more distant relationship with the self talk, and slowly after time it will slow down and become less full on. 

There are obviously many different angles of self talk (thinking), and on this post I want to share the effects this "Self Talk" has on out actual physical lives, the quality of our lives and the way we see our selves. Now that Ive introduced your attention to this maybe you have only just know realized that yes there is a voice there and that's a whole new perspective beginning. I have met many people in my life and many of them have had low self esteem or just treated their selves bad with no self love or go through their whole lives being angry especially toward there own self. 

This voice- has control of our lives, it has control of what will happen to us in the future and it controls our moods, our feelings and all emotions. It decides when we do anything and so that means it also decides when we Dont do anything. It really does produce our immediate future which effects the longer term future. 

If you can see there's a voice of the mind, you have maybe not yet realized that you are not actually this voice anymore because you can see the difference - You are looking now at the voice in the mind, so how can you be that voice?! 

Using this approach and terminology to self talk makes it more logical to grasp. If we are not the voice of the mind , then suddenly there is no control of your future anymore, and with no nagging voice judging your every move and experience - How would life be do you think? What people don't realize until somebody points it out, that the voice has actually been a hijacker since as long as you can remember most likely, and we have completely become its bitch and its been pulling our strings all along. 

Manifestations of your life!

Now we have hopefully concluded without too much ifs and but's from the voice, that the voice has been in charge. When I left school at 16, I started working fulltime and for the first 2 years I had money to enjoy at the weekends and life was still fun. Then came getting a car, renting a place and all "that", and suddenly I was always without enough money even to go out drinking. I had years of this, and since learning about the voice (which is only a few years if that) I realized that regularly my mates would ask me if I wanted to go out for some beers or go to eat food somewhere, and I always relied, " I haven't got enough money". That was always my answer. The voice kept me in a repetitive pattern, of having not enough money! 

When I look back on it now, I realize that for example my friends saying "I'm always single" and guess what, they were single for years and proberbly still are unless they stopped saying these words! Since traveling I have noticed that when I got away from the daily routines of society, that the voice in my head was much quieter. 

The same is for depression.

 I have experienced depression a few times, like heavy stuff in my youth, and it was just a constant jargon of never ending talk from the mind. Judgement, self judgement, self blame, its all the same thing, the Self Talk. "I dont see the point in living" more self talk, "I should just stay in bed because there's nothing worth doing" MORE self talk.

The thing being that how often is it, and be honest with your self here - how often to you say to yourself - "That there is fucking excellent, I am Brilliant" whenever you did something even just when tying your shoe laces? Nobody , Ok maybe me - once - or twice- practice what you preach! Seriously, nobody does that but they should be. Instead they would be thinking whilst tying the lace on auto pilot, where they were going to and what they needed to take etc. "Im not going to make it" or " I hope I look good enough" are usually the self talking, and did you notice that they wern't positive uplifting comments made in self talk?

Insomnia. There are very few people who live in the western world who manage to fall asleep easy every night after the action packed day. The foods we eat and the things we drink are stimulants that make the self talk more constant and its common that before we finally get to sleep , there is a long cinema show of crazy story's produced by the mind and narrated by the voice. 

If you tell yourself (if the self talk says) that you cant do something just one time, it takes 17 times manually repeating "You can do it" until your brain believes you can do it - this shows how the automatic self talk when always negative, just completely limits you from being your best and you have a boring and lonely life.

Imagine when your sat on a bus or a tube, everybody is sat in silence and they are all deep in self talk. Completely going along with the stories we spend hours each day in this mind trap. The Self talk is also the creator or maybe just the cultivator of FEAR. There is a great breakdown of this word that is used commonly in self development which is F-false E-evidence A-appearing R-real. This means that the voice has judged a situation and decides what you will do in this situation, if anything. It also stops us from doing things that we would normally want to do or maybe try for the first time, but then is so ready to deter us from it, thus keeping us in the same repetitive circles day in day out. I see it at work, today was a great example. I had a customer who got a magerzine, she said to me, are you that guy standing every morning at the train-station? I said yes that's me, she said "Here's 50 kr, I noticed you because of your dogs." We were like 40 mins drive away from the train station of Oslo, and she only now says Hi. I said to her- "did you know you have passed me every morning for the last 7 months Ive been standing there?" She said, "has it been 7 months?!" She is always obviously in self talk mode, looks up and see's me then either continues on thinking or created a whole story on who I am and why she shouldn't buy a magazine, or maybe tomorrow I will, or , or..

Im not going to tell you how the self talk can be slowed down because I believe that if you have really had enough of it having full control and have realized that it is not you, then I know, just like myself that I was ready to start to read up on the mind and how to change it, Ok a little push in the right direction is a guy called Eckhart Tolle but that's all the help you'll get and proberbly need!

Its up to you to change your mind, and its very doable if you really want to do it. but Ive read many times that all is happening at exactly the right speed as to which it is meant to be happening and the worst thing to do is to be hard on yourself with more negative self talk.

Give it a try next time you tie your laces, and see how you feel!