Do you need to date before marriage?

in #love5 years ago

View the original post on Musing.io

IMO, you don't need to date before getting married. However, you could take a little time to court, just to get familiarised with your potential spouse. Why?

The reason a lot of people or all those who date give for going into it is to basically get to know the person they're getting married to. But is this always the case?

Most times, in the name of getting to know him or her through dating, people take 3,5, even 7 years to date and in the end don't get married to such persons. Those that are lucky to get married in the end still get to find out new things about their spouses after marriage. Some even after getting married would end up divorced because it was after marriage they found out some stuffs about their spouse. This is someone you have dated for 5 or 7 years or even more. What then was the essence of dating.

We have seen couples that didn't date for a long period and still end up having a lasting marriage.

Another reason why I don't support the idea of dating is that, in the process of dating, you would have "enjoyed and exhausted" all the goodness that were meant to be enjoyed in a legal marriage. You end up (most times) having sex (before marriage), share emotions and all. Then when you finally get married, there is no new thing to explore. Everything has been exhausted even before marriage.

Also, while dating, you still have the mindset of "we're not married yet" (which is true). This allows for you to throw caution into the wind on a lot of things that you would normally not do if you were legally married.

I would however suggest "courtship" for whoever wishes to get married. Although many see them both as the same but there is a very thin line distinguishing them.

Courtship on the other hand should not take for more than 6-8 months and in the worst case scenario 1 year (except in rare cases where the deciding factor - like parent's consent - is beyond you).

The truth is, no matter how long you date, you WILL NEVER GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER Fully. Even couples married for over a decade still get to discover new things about their spouses everyday. Why don't you then just do the needful and grow together.

I hope you find this helpful.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.24
TRX 0.11
JST 0.032
BTC 61166.56
ETH 2987.63
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.71