I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15 👇🏽

Stardate 2.13.19

Today is the day - Valentine's Day Eve! One of my favorite holidays, consumerism aside.

A celebration of LOVE. So many flavors to choose from! Infinite varieties to engage!

This month I promised myself to focus on L-O-V-E, and boy oh boy has it been on the up and up!

Until these last few days...these feelings of NOT love so strong...fear, doubt, guilt, shame, jealousy, anger.

Why is this arising? Why now? Why NOW, after all this training and practice do I still slip????

More importantly, how do I win???

The revolution begins within ~ @quinneaker.

I have the lessons; it's time to consult the notes again:

1. We are fully held and supported by divine love and light - always. It is a vibration, always available to be felt.
2. I am responsible for tuning myself to LOVE. No one else can do it for me.
3. Focus! Focus, focus, focus and practice, practice, practice. Focus on the LOVE, and suddenly the other stuff slips away.
4. It's ok - you're safe. You're safe, you're safe, you're safe.
5. When you forget, remember. And when you forget, remember. And when you forget, remember. Just keep on remembering...
   
   
   
   

I know tools too, so I meditate. I write in my secret space where I can flow freely. I focus on heart openers in my yoga practice. I sleep as much as I need. I drink more water. I take more deep breaths.

I want to do it on my own because I am extremely stubborn, but I have to lean heavily on my examples @quinneaker and @everlove in the @gardenofeden. I draw from them, from the reality they create and the love and support they have shared with me.

Thank all the gods for them!!!

Their bond so sacred that it inspires and motivates me to be a better person, as it has served countless others as well. I depend fully on the foundation they have laid.

I don't understand why I forget this reality of LOVE, which is dishonor and disrespect even though I don't mean it to be...why is it so easy to slip out and disconnect from feeling LOVE, even in the face of true greatness?

I get sad that it is so easy to check out of LOVE. I get sad for myself for being weak; I get sad for everyone else who has it way harder than I do. I get sad that LOVE feels so foreign that I have to practice. I get sad that if anything is possible, then it is possible we will be broken and disconnected from LOVE forever...

"Some people would rather be right and fail than be wrong and succeed," says Quinn.

I compare myself to my examples, and I know almost everything I think I know about LOVE is wrong even after all this time.

May surrendering be the greatest success.

Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?

Join me in the next post and we'll continue this journey of real love together.

Part 16


















✨💛✨ Sara!
^{giffing it up c/o giphy.com}