Is marriage without children happier?
Marriage is a union of two separate individuals usually a man and a woman. Today we see some forms of contradictions as same Sex marriage has become the new trend and even legalized in some countries. For you to expect kids in marriage, that means the marriage must have taken place between a man and a woman. It's not news any more to hear or find couples married for years without kids of their own while there are unmarried singles with kids. Some have kids and are not ready for parenting while those who are ready don't have any. Some others who can afford to take care of kids have just one or two while those who lack the material, financial and physical resources to take care of kids have numerous kids. That's how complicated and unfair life could be.
Is marriage without children happier? My answer is Yes and No. I'm going to look at this from various perspectives. First of all, what is your understanding of the concept of marriage? Is it all about having kids? If that is it, then unmarried people should never be able to conceive or have kids. There's more to marriage than having kids.
Marriage brings together two different people, different background, maybe different mindset and views about life. It gives both couple an opportunity to see life through another person's lenses and perspective. It gives you the pleasure of another person's company. Then again, having kids come with Its own limitations and complications. They take a lot of time, energy and resources. In fact, your freedom is cut short especially for a woman when she start raising kids. There are places she can't go, jobs she can't take and much more. So, my answer is No. What about cases where a person cannot bring forth a particular Sex of a child? That becomes another problem on it's own even if the marriage is blessed with kids. So, if you're a couple and you don't have kids yet, enjoy your freedom while it lasts after all, life is for the living.
Kids is one of the blessings of marriage. So, it is expected for one not to be happy to have this blessing in their union. People treat marriage like it is a sport and so expect some trophies in the form of children. As a result, there's so much emphasis on kids even when the couple are clearly not ready. The problem is further compounded by illitracy coupled with the African tradition. There are cases where the lady is unable to bring forth a son. She might not be happy as an African traditional man would want a heir and so may be likely to cheat on her so he could get a male child from a mistress.
Marriage is for better or worse. Even though we expect the future to be better than our present. Still, life has it's own surprises. Childlessness could be one of those. Being in Africa is another problem of it's own when in-laws begin mounting pressure on their children to give them grand children. It's really challenging when the problem is from the wife, Just be sure her mother-in-law would not give her peace of mind. In that instance, couples wouldn't be happy.
Some couples too are thrown off balance when that feeling of incompleteness sets in. This is usually drawn from competition and comparison among humans. When couple begin to compare themselves with others who are maybe age mates, class mates, school mates, childhood playmates or maybe colleagues at office, it looks like one big piece of their lives is missing. Depression sets in and other health challenges.
Everyone wants a replica of himself or herself. It's a beautiful thing to bring forth another being from your loins and nurture that little being, teaching, guiding and correcting until adulthood. But when life's surprises come knocking without permission, please don't kill yourself. Happiness is an inside job, don't assign anyone or anything that job. It's a risk as it could be cut short. If children are the only reason there is to be happy, then I'm sure every married person with kids should have a bag full of happiness. But there are many with kids who are still very unhappy that is because life's wants are numerous and insatiable.