Recovering From Burnout Caused By Addiction - Taraz Syndrome

in #mentalillness6 years ago (edited)

You might've noticed that for the past two months I had been going (posting) on like crazy, and for the last few weeks I had been pumping one post a day, everyone of them being done with what I'd call decent thinking and precision.

But last Friday I had to stop, my head was simply not working at all, like all the reward centers to get one moving had burned out of the recent grinding.

But what makes one go mental, posting like this? Chatting with @escapist in Steem.chat she might had come up with a name for this phenomena:


This manual should be taken with a grain of salt, consult your doctor first before making any diagnosis and treatments based on the following.


Taraz Syndrome



From Giphy

The name of this disease is borrowed from @tarazkp. The best way to describe him is like being a synthesis of a machine gun and keyboard which - if you somehow missed the analogy - means that he WRITES A LOT. Usually 3-4 posts a day, many of them closing the 1000 word mark. Scrolling his blog only back to 7 days is like an exploration through an antrophologic history sight.

He's a bit of a mystery for not maximizing his own gains despite having a family of his own to take care of, giving back some back with his hard earned stake to the community. This on top of the heavy thinking he does daily has led me to believe that he is the closest equivalent of Jesus that Steemit has. (Hopefully he won't get crucified for his outspoken nature similarly to the guy 2000 years ago.)

But he is very well aware of his own insanity. (Someone more aware of the Bible than I might be able to say whether Jesus was aware of his own eccentric nature or not.) I guess such behavior draws attention in the middle of "self-maximizing profit" which is quite the norm in Steem(it) these days.

What causes it?


The causes and the means of spreading of the disease aren't yet fully known nor studied. It seems like a mental illness but it might behave like a virus (someone make a study out of it?).
But one thing is for sure: the correlation between the illness and reading @tarazkp is undeniable.
NOTE. reading alone might not trigger the disease. Other factors such as genetics have a big influence on who it might have an effect.

Symptoms


  • Writing addiction. (mandatory)
  • Steemit addiction (mandatory)
  • High standards
  • Burnout
  • Obsessive need for diving deep into issues
  • Episodes of obsessive writing
  • Hearing a voice inside your head telling "you need to write more" or compulsive thoughts alike

this list might miss symptoms yet not fully realized or remembered

If you have 3 or more symptoms from the above on top of the mandatory ones, you might be suspect to the Taraz Syndrome.

Is there a cure?


By my own understanding, no. After one comes down with the illness, it never goes away completely. One can only alleviate the symptoms of it.

How to deal with it?


Do not try to be a hero and publish everyday continously - or multiple times a day for Taraz sake! Managing and knowing your own limits with this writing addiction caused by the disease is key.
You remember what happened to those trying to be like Jesus? They failed miserably (Judas Iscariot hanged himself, Peter denied Jesus thrice and burst into tears.)

For my own burnout I did something extraordinary: Netflix and Chill. "Isn't that what people normally do?" Yes, most of them, but for one suffering from Taraz Syndrome such activity is way out of question.

As a recovering patient of the syndrome I need to let go of the need for continuous posting and take it easy, especially now that there's a Steem meet up in Estonia coming up this weekend so I want to be able to function somewhat human-like in there. I was about to edit a video but that'll be spared for the next week when I'm back at my father's place where my editing computer is. Not gonna run back and forth in the almost 30 degree weather.

Consequences


Positive

  • Increased writing and language skills
  • Increased 'in depth' thinking (arguable whether this is a result of the disease or the person)
  • Potential increased rewards in Steemit
  • Being an early adopter on the "crypto train" (probably a good thing, at least that's what we hope)
  • Getting to know likeminded (or not likeminded) Internet people from all over the world

Negative

Like with any other addiction, it might disturb one's social life and work routine (I have a lot of time in my work service though, so here it actually helps me keep my sanity). It might lead to disinterest towards real world activity that one has previously found enjoyable.

  • Bitterness against human race
    knowing the imperfections of humans is good to acknowledge but having your bitter tongue as a default will probably lessen your quality of life in the long run

Mixed Mostly negative

  • Belief you could live off Steem someday

This could be both negative and positive... nah, probably just negative. It might motivate you to write more for short term but leads to disappointment almost guaranteed whilst seeing that the work doesn't bring expected rewards. Getting somewhere with a real life impact without big money of your own takes waaaaaaaaaaay more work than you think. Try scrolling one year back of Taraz' blog so you know what I'm talking about, if you have patience for that.

My Experience With The Illness


I have personally experienced the lessen interest for social interaction and disc golfing. But thank God my friend started the BBQ season so I didn't completely isolate myself. Food still gets me going. If it didn't, it would be a time to see the doctor.

Don't know whether it's because of my syndrome, but at work I'm feeling like "bleh" even though it's the same ol' as always, you know it already if you're not completely new reading me. Despite sleeping 9 hours I'm feeling cranky that I have to do some actual stuff for once. Yeah, I still have an attitude problem. I'm trying to direct my thoughts the ideal way, I'll just take a few deep breaths, it'll be fine then. Nvm, I'm cool again, the (teenage) brain still does what it wants at times. Need to meditate more.

However, I'm going to make sleeping my top priority. Finishing a post can wait for tomorrow. I need to harness my brain power. I already made a small lecture about sleep in @escapist's comment section but I feel it's my responsibility to share this podcast with all the one's reading this also. One of the most fascinating and informative podcasts I've ever watched/listened.

I'll keep writing for sure, since like said, can't get rid of Taraz Syndrome once it hits, but I'm not letting it affect other aspects of my life, well, sleep at least.

I've been fortunate to experience the better side of the disease with some decent gains, all powered up - bigger than I've ever experienced in such a short time frame.

But oh, how many of new people crash from the high without such support that I've gotten. It would get quite dark (well, even darker than what the discussions have gotten) if having to be all alone here. Unfortunately that's the fate of many new people here, I feel.

Sort:  

"Need to meditate more."

Yup.

I fucking love your posts godamn. I always want to write daily, but it's legit a struggle. Due to previously suffering from Taraz, I now choose sleep over anything else. I shall read up some @tarazkp for research purposes.

As far as living off Steemit solely... Hmmm... I'm still trying until I make it, or actually fail and absolutely require a day job. Money is nice, but an expressive outlet with many amazing minds makes it worth the journey

Realistically though, I rather write sometimes and have something to say, than to contribute to the endless sea of spam. Your post did inspire me though. Instead of throwing down 3000 word posts solo, I'll be taking time to start breaking them down into smaller ideas that are easier to read through.

I fucking love your posts godamn.

Thank you so fucking much! xD

I shall read up some @tarazkp for research purposes.

Some indeed because one lifetime isn't enough to read all of his posts (I think it's something ridiculous like 1600 actual articles, then comments as their own).

As far as living off Steemit solely... Hmmm... I'm still trying until I make it, or actually fail and absolutely require a day job.

It definitely is doable, and you're on the right road. Day jobs won't go anywhere (well, maybe when robots take over) so take the chance while you can! It's just that beginners have their expectations too high without having the practical experience how things roll here.

Your post did inspire me though. Instead of throwing down 3000 word posts solo, I'll be taking time to start breaking them down into smaller ideas that are easier to read through.

Oh, didn't even try inspire anyone, well I'm happy I did! Sometimes good accidents happen.

I may have friends but I comment things I really like! That's the point right? x'D

1600 articles? Man, if I wanna get anywhere—I gotta be a lot more serious. That may be my illness talking (lol), but I can't get stronger if I don't use my muscles. I've read two of his most recent so far and loving them. The writing is easy to understand, and exudes emotion! I can understand why he is writing what he does, I love seeing when something genuinely matters to a person.

"It definitely is doable, and you're on the right road."

Thanks for the moral support. There's no sense giving up on a dream while it's still alive. Seeing how engaged people are here, sometimes makes me feel like a jackass for not interacting more. That; "can I really comment them?" apprehension. I'm working on getting over it.

"Sometimes good accidents happen."

No my boy, this is fate—this post and interaction has plenty of meaning to me!

Man... @celestal has seriously turned me into a disorder...

What can I say,

quality is contagious!

It is balance my friend! Writing and earning for yourself are good habits to get into until they start to nudge out other good habits and become excessive.

You have a good business going here. Reduce it to a dull roar and god build some physical habits like training @jiujitsu! ;) That's one of my drugs of choice but cross a threshold and engage socially and physically and take small steps!

I look forward to reading about it and helping any way I can.

I can definitely see the merit with BJJ. Not sure if I ever end up getting into it though but I'll keep an open mind. I still have some other physical activity so I'm practicing the balance either way.

That's the stuff. Kinda like the markets......they go up and then they go down and you just have to be ready for it and prepared to make positive change.

Usually when I hit a wall of sorts, I go choke some folks and read a bllok ;)

Haha, whatever works for you, keep doing it! Have noticed that exercise - even just a walk - helps to think clearer.

Disease or Decease? I'm confused since my English is not good.

Taraz syndrome is non-curable for most of the times. I still don't understand how he manages this all. Writing four lengthy posts a day and again commenting and reading. Indeed he is the Jesus Christ of this century!

Oh, disease is what I meant! I mixed up the two words. Good thing you noticed! Fixed it :D

I still don't understand how he manages this all.

Yeah, man... I don't think no one does, not even Taraz himself.

I have my own addiction to Steemit. I upvote so much I kill my Steem Power! I am like you describe when I write music too.

Addictions never go away, just change their form (from scrolling Facebook feed, to browsing Steemit) :D

The Taraz Syndrome - this is epic! Great post! I've been following @tarazkp for a long time now so I understand perfectly what you're talking about!
Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned that bit about you sleeping nine hours - we don't want our friend triggered! (Although you're very right about getting enough sleep.)

Hey @ladyrebecca, it was a pleasure to make this, thanks for reading!

Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned that bit about you sleeping nine hours - we don't want our friend triggered!

Yeah, I realize now it was quite a bold move😬 ...but I just had to get the knowledge out there!😄

I have fallen ill of it a time or two myself and there's only one cure for Taraz Syndrome...

More Cowbell!

There can never be enough cowbell!!!

Ain't that the truth! Whenever I am feeling unmotivated and even negative at times and I am being unproductive... and it's time to post... I often ask myself, "What would Taraz do?!?" Then I start posting like Will rings that cowbell. =)

Hahaa, that's great! I'll keep that in mind upon tough times!

These things will happen. Short breaks often and make them interesting, there is new material found everywhere and allowing yourself a break refocusses, gets the lungs full and the blood pumping again, oxigen back to the brain.

One step a back, few deep breaths, and back on the horse!

Still stabbing me for not sleeping, damn that's harsh!

What?! No, I explicitly said I want to show this to others, too. Or are you ashamed I might've exposed your sleeping habits?

NO! I regret nothing! Okay, I might be willing to admit you have point there, maybe. Lol

Hey, it's okay, someday the time will come when you can finally sleep at peace (not like I was implying that day would dawn only once you ded or anything).

Thank you doctor Celestal. I feel better knowing what I have. I think my case is terminal (I leave 31 May).

Like I said, you should consult a doctor (a real one) before making diagnosis of your own, haha. I hope you're not right, it's one deadly disease if it takes only few weeks to kill😅

You really should be looking for a cure because once it hits a certain point, it becomes terminal and there is nothing to be done. It is akin to being obsessive compulsive with less hand washing and more annoyance at the world ;)

Aww... man, I don't know if I really have the time to find the cure, maybe I could find it by exploring the possibilities with writing or... wait... oh.

you see! it is a wily disease... just when you thought you were out...

Whichever way you try, it deceives with all the roads leading back to it.

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