The goal to love and be loved is not easy ...

in #mindset5 years ago (edited)

Everyone needs somebody they say.

Love is everything, it generates happiness, contentment, confidence and satisfaction, it is the fuel that keeps us going. Love generates love and this generates well being. It sounds so easy and it is when we have found true love, our soulmate. It is the greatest feeling to have a confidant, a best friend, a supporter who loves you unconditionally no matter what.

Sounds too ideal and impossible? Absolutely when you have not met that person, especially when you have had let down and heartbreaks. So what is the secret of couples who have that special love relationship? Is there a formula? And why is it that some couples wait for an extra long time before finding each other? And for others they never find that love?

it is a mystery, there is no tried and tested algorithm. it is up to you to figure it out. The first big learning is that you cannot make it work with a person that is not your soulmate. Settling for another who is not your true love leads to heartache and problems. This creates baggage, self-doubt and cynicism in the dating world. Another big down factor that destroys any new blossoming relationship is you and your self-sabotaging.

Finding that right person is a quagmire of negatives and let downs

The secret ingredient in this puzzle of true love is to love yourself first. When the time is right then it happens. It is like a serendipity. So in the meantime live life, love your family and friends more and be happy.

Love and Blessings

Cheers

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Howdy angiemitchell! Love makes this world wonderful, it sure does! This is another great post with such truth, you gotta love yourself first or you're probably going to ruin every relationship you enter into.

Hiya janton, so very true, self-love equates to confidence, giving, forgiveness, kindness and so on. I could go on but I don't need to --- you already know.

Thank you for your kind reinforcing words, it is always appreciated to get such positive feedback.

Human relationships are magical and challenging, and when you think about it, it's really quite a wonder that you can take two people usually with vastly differing backgrounds and experiences, put them together and somehow end up with something that lasts and grows for years and years.

I first met my wife when she was 8 and I was 13...we went in all sorts of different directions and had separate lives and marriages and kids... and then finally got together in 2003.

Relationships take work and GREAT relationships take a great deal of work. There is no one "formula," but the principle *I will do everything I can to be my 'best me' for YOU and you will do everything to be your 'best you' for ME" is about as close to reality of a strong relationship as any.

It's nobody's job to carry your baggage and your troubles FOR you, but they might carry those WITH you. And I think that's also what lies at the core of strong self-love!

Well said @denmarkguy, thank you for your thoughts, you nailed it and I can only agree. Love is ever-growing our the years, taking commitment as well the want to make it work. I find that liking and respecting your partner is really important in the equation of loving relationships.

It is a difficult thing for two to truly coexist, especially given the way the farmers of men encourage self centered focus. It has created an epidemic of narcissism. That aside, then you get two who are in the honeymoon stage, both putting on masks (or one I guess) as they try to be worthy. But in their minds they envision this carefree life with no worries that love conquers, and so often one or both grow resentful of the other because life had different ideas.

It takes two whose love is so strong for the other that they do not resent the hardships, especially as is so often more comes from one of the two. They have an empathy and understand it is a privilege to be able to lighten such a beautiful persons load, or to at least be there to hold their hand in understanding when as is also often the case, there is nothing you can do to alter the situation.

Love is often dove into due to an addiction by many to those honeymoon rushes, having little to do with cherishing what will be those hard times.

Impossible to get from another for a long term period what it is you are incapable of giving yourself.

Another big down factor that destroys any new blossoming relationship is you and your self-sabotaging.

So true

Hi @practicalthought, a really good point to touch on -the new rush of honeymoon love does not always last when it is tested in hard times. Living with someone is not always easy but worth it. Self-love is a core necessity. Common sense and practicality is a must for a long term relationship. Thanks for your ideas.

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