There are many times in life when we regret the things we say just right after we've said them. Words can hurt people and they can't be unsaid. What we say remains even if we apologize. We can say we're sorry but it doesn't change the fact that we spoke and people got hurt. So the best way to not to have to apologize and don't hurt people with our words is to use the three doors.

"...some say it's greek, other say it's chinese..."

There's an ancient story, some say it's greek, other say it's chinese, but the important thing is that the story advice us to take everything we wanna say and make it pass through three doors (tests actually). If they pass through every single door, then we can say it. Fisrt Door: Is it true? that is to say, the thing we're gonna say must be true in order to say it. If it's a lie it doesn't worth saying it and if you're not sure about its veracity, then you should remain quiet because lies, rumors and gossips can damage your relationships with others.

"...if it ain't kind..."

Second door: is it necessary? let's suppose the thing is true. If he doesn't need to hear it, if it isn't useful, if he can go on with his life without knowing that, why should you say it? only if the message is true and necessary we can take it to the Third door: is it kind? this should be the main door. How many times we say things to our dear ones that are mean and we shield ourselves saying that he or she should hear that. Why? even if what you're about to say is true and necessary, if it ain't kind you're gonna hurt him or her and you're gonna make him or her feel miserable. Don't be the carrier of mean words, or rumors, or anything that you think may damage the inner peace of people.

I know it may seem a little too complicated and it may take a while to think every situation and pass every message through those three doors, but just think how different things may be if we use this technique.

We can make a less negative environment

How would it be if every little thing everyone said were true, necessary and kind words? no rumors, gossips, unconfirmed information, swearing, insults, lies, because all those things would be trapped in one of the doors. Let's try it. Next time you have to tell something to someone use those three doors and see how it goes. If it turns out good (which it will) then keep on applying the technique and encourage others to do it so we can make a less negative environment. I can assure you it worths trying.