Movie Review: Crypto

in #movie5 years ago

Hey Steemians, HODLer's and crypto lovers

There was a type when crypto was hotter than anything Hanzel was wearing and modelling on the catwalk and mainstream mentions were starting to make regular appearances in TV shows and Movies but since the crypto winter no ones really cared much about the concept except the few of us who are still here waiting for things to pop off.

So when the movie Crypto was announced with superstar Kurt Russell I thought hey this could be mainstream media really taking note of what we're trying to achieve. Could it be an opportunity to educate people about the power of cryptocurrency in an entertaining way? A movie that helped normalise cryptocurrency for the average user?

That's what I was hoping for, but what we got, hmmm let's find out.

What is Crypto about?

A Wall Street banker gets sent back home to stay out of his banks obvious criminal affirs when he somehow connects a small-town art gallery to a global conspiracy, putting his own family in grave danger.

Crypto-movie-2019.jpg
Poster for crypto

What did I think of Crypto?

Let me start by saying this movie has so little to do with crypto it's actually not even a joke, its so generic they could have called it anything like The Banker or The Bank Wanker, it really didn't matter. I don't know who greenlit this script or why Kurt Russell decided to act in it, probably had some studio commitment or something. I'm not even sure why he is on the poster, he hardly features in the movie either.

The script is so generic I feel like the scriptwriters went to Google typed in crypto and used ubersuggest or some keyword tool to find related keywords and the list spit out the following

  • Mining
  • Banking
  • ICO
  • Russians
  • Money Laundering
  • Trezor waller/USB thumb drive

and they sprinkled those keywords into the script like salt bae whenever it could make sense to those who clearly have no idea what crypto is or what it's about.

The acting is so bad and so stale I found myself bursting out laughing at some dramatic points in the movie at how terrible and cringe-worthy it was, this is a straight to DVD movie at best and should be placed next to all 5 copies of sharknado, The room and Birdemic.

Trailer for Crypto

My rating for Crypto

The movie promises Kurt Russell and cyprto but what you get is a standard Russian mafia using banks to launder money, a Gilmore girl and the forgotten Hemsworth brother with anger issues. In fact now that I think of it, this movie is pretty much like any ICO promising the world with the whitepaper and shitting the bed hard with the product, so in fact it, in that regard this movie can keep its name.

This movie is no better than those gopnick Estonian ICO that were shilled by YouTubers back in 2016 and I have no choice but to give this trash 2 shitcoins out of 10.

Avoid this movie like the plague. It's an insult to its title which is a clickbait title at best.

Have your say

Have you seen the movie? What did you think of it?

Holla at me in the comments! All my commenters I will now refer to as Jessie. Jessie is a good friend of mine, but Jessies got a girl, and I want to make her mine.

So have at it my Jessies! If you don't have something to comment, simply comment "I am a Jessie."

Let's connect

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Two shits down the porcelain gods mouth. Thx for braving another swim in the sewage of film..

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Like taking the fat girl of the group so everyone scores I am just that altruistic. I only hope more people find this post and it inspires them to trash the IMDB page with proper reviews because the movie rating at the moment is way too high

Well, I'm on my way. I love trashing and trolling..

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I hate movies with tittle saying one thing and the movie itself showing another thing.

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Ah it really is the worst it's like being catfished and unlike a YouTube video which you can find out pretty quickly this isnt as the title says a movie takes you a bit longer lol and besides I was already half way through I might as well watch the entire thing

Dear @chekohler

Interesting topic. I must admit that it's very first time I'm hearing about such a movie.

Could it be an opportunity to educate people about the power of cryptocurrency in an entertaining way?

Somehow I don't see it happening. I would rather expect action movie with some topics related to criminals using crypto lol:)

Thx for sharing
Yours
Piotr

LOL it’s funny you say that because that’s exactly the movie they gave us and a bad one at that

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So this Jessie doesn’t have to go and see the hemsworth brother with anger issues, this Jessie might help him come off his anger, but for two shitcoin it might be a waste of my time. I am recovering in bed after surgery so can you please recommend a Jessie without anger issues and with a handsome face like the brother Chris preferably 4 hours long
Thanks
Happy mothersday che
Hugs

Yes please say away I think this particular Jessie might like “Isn’t it romantic” it’s a comedy and has a hemsworth in it or the duel it’s not the best but woody and Liam make the best of it

Happy Mother’s Day 👩 and I hope you get well soon!

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I had a great day and I am getting a bit better

This movie is really interesting, I must say this would be a start for mass adoption. Just watched the trailer and I'm gonna watch the whole movie.

Lol well watch it at your own risk! Once you done feel free to share your thoughts on it here! Would like to get a second opinion

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Hello @chekohler,

Interesting movie review - thanks for sharing your thoughts about it with the community! It's a shame that a movie with a promising title turned out very poorly. You’ve just got a full upvote from us. Looking forward to reading future posts from you!

Best Regards,
Blue Baikal
https://www.bluebaikal.io/en


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Wow that was unexpected thanks so much and yes it was such a let down, hopefully they don’t try anything crypto until they get it right lol!

I’ll check out that link a bit later, thanks for stopping by

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