When my wife and I were raising our two sons, I would tell them that they needed to work hard and be ready to be on their own at a young age. I don't know if it was precisely 18—that's a bit early—what with college and such, but definitely by age 21.
Well, that kind of happened. They both served church missions, which put them out on their own for two years, and then they were back home for a while before heading off to college, which took another few years. However, both of them came back with wives, and now children, and are living with either us or their inlaws. The oldest will be thirty this year, while the youngest turns twenty-eight.
It's not like I haven't say in the matter, either. It's been mostly out of convenience—an attempt to help while both either get jobs, or better jobs. Not all employment, especially starting out, will give a person a living wage. So, what's supposed to happen in the meantime? Put your life on hold, don't start a family, or have both working until that time that the means to go out on your own exist?
Perhaps. The tradeoff has been having our first grand daughter living with us, and being able to see her every day and watch her learn and grow. It's been a totally different experience to watch that unfold as a grandfather than it was as a parent. Much easier.
So, while I still believe that the sooner kids can be out on their own, the better, that doesn't mean it won't take a while longer for things to be more or less launched. Certainly finances and economics play a roll. It's never been easy to live on your own, but it's certainly not getting any easier.
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When my wife and I were raising our two sons, I would tell them that they needed to work hard and be ready to be on their own at a young age. I don't know if it was precisely 18—that's a bit early—what with college and such, but definitely by age 21.
Well, that kind of happened. They both served church missions, which put them out on their own for two years, and then they were back home for a while before heading off to college, which took another few years. However, both of them came back with wives, and now children, and are living with either us or their inlaws. The oldest will be thirty this year, while the youngest turns twenty-eight.
It's not like I haven't say in the matter, either. It's been mostly out of convenience—an attempt to help while both either get jobs, or better jobs. Not all employment, especially starting out, will give a person a living wage. So, what's supposed to happen in the meantime? Put your life on hold, don't start a family, or have both working until that time that the means to go out on your own exist?
Perhaps. The tradeoff has been having our first grand daughter living with us, and being able to see her every day and watch her learn and grow. It's been a totally different experience to watch that unfold as a grandfather than it was as a parent. Much easier.
So, while I still believe that the sooner kids can be out on their own, the better, that doesn't mean it won't take a while longer for things to be more or less launched. Certainly finances and economics play a roll. It's never been easy to live on your own, but it's certainly not getting any easier.
Excellent and thoughtful response. My son is 8 months old, so I have a long time until he approaches leaving my house.
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