Sort:  

Bloody hell - love it - and never follow the Min Min Lights; they would lure you away never to be seen again. You're off to a rip-roaring start! I love your voice and the quirky events.

Your heroine is so totally someone I can relate to!
And if the things ‘lured her away’ like the stories told, it wasn’t any real worry; if worse came to worse the phone had GPS and luckily, the phone was at full battery.

Well, I don't relate to stiletto heels and a $400 dress - worn to a hippie nature retreat! LOL! But I love this city gal's pluck. And her quest to go viral on youtube. ;)

Oh man. I want to be reading this via my Kindle, highlighting favorite passages. Or google-dox, letting the author know how much I love it - especially lines like this:
Sarah would pull her aside and spew some more nonsense about how they weren’t the Min Min Lights, that they were actually her spirit guides and they were guiding her to inner wellness… or some hippie shit like that. Because spirit guides lured their chosen ones deep into scrub-land all the time!
You have an instinctive (natural, apparently effortless) command of Deep POV!! I didn't know the term until a few years ago, but I saw it in my favorite novels and employed it with no idea there was a name for it. You put the reader right inside the protagonist's head, dispensing with the clutter and distraction of thought, felt, wondered, noticed, and other tags.
I want to read the whole novel at once via my Kindle - day by day is torture! And I really really really love your narrative voice!!

I had no idea what Deep POV was either until earlier this year! I was reading various writing websites, talking about voices, active/passive, do this, do that, don't do that!, and they had all the POVs listed and I was all, "Hey! That one's mine!"

When I first started writing, I was more of a narrator. My own fault. I was imagining myself sitting by a campfire and telling a story to people and wrote my words in that fashion. I was a story-teller. Then realised that apparently no-one likes story-tellers, they want story-showers. Have been training myself over the past few months to be a bit more show-y and less tell-y. I think I still fall into it sometimes, but it's hard to tell. For me anyway.

The Min-Min Lights are a real phenomenon here in Aussie-land! :D Told of in the Aboriginal Dreamtime. They've partially been scientifically explained, apparently a Fata Morgana mirage; but what the science describes and what the people describe seem entirely at odds. I like the idea of little malevolent light-orbs luring people into the great unknown.

https://www.historicmysteries.com/min-min-lights/

You are a born storyteller, and I mean that in the best way possible! I get so frustrated by the show-don't-tell crowd. Dostoevsky and Homer (The Odyssey) and the Nibelungenlied and other epics were all about telling. Rhyme and rhythm were built in because without the printing press, oral storytellers relied on poetic prose because it's more easily memorized. There is MERIT in "tell vs show" - fairy tales are more tell than show! And your Min-Min lights lend themselves to that. The truth is stranger than fiction... I'm resisting the urge to google this Aussie phenom RIGHT NOW and work on my NaNo word count instead, but oh, man, the Foo Fighters of WWII, lights witnessed by American soldiers in Germany territory - what ARE these thing?? You've tapped into a national treasure! And you're balancing the show vs tell quite well. While freewriting, it's great to do more telling. Later, go back and edit in the show. Narrative flow can be impeded by descriptive details. "He was angry" is a tell, and "He shoved the chair back and slammed his fist on the table" is a show, but sometimes we get hung up in the showing and lose the narrative pace. So, just go go go go! You're telling a great story, and I really liked the "First World Problems" of the Millennial whose phone wasn't working. "How could it get worse" - those famous words of doom - I learned never EVER to say "What next!" or "It can't get any worse." There is no greater invitation to all the imps and gremlins out there looking for their next victim. ;)

You and I need to message each other by email or something!
Now I'm heading to Twitter to follow An Australian neuroscientist who solved the mystery of Min Min lights, Dr Karl Kruszelnicki, a fellow in the School of Physics at the University of Sydney. His latest book, Karl the Universe and Everything is published by Pan MacMillan. Follow him on Twitter at @DoctorKarl....

I will send you a quick email right now. :) Just so you have my email on hand. (don't really want to write it out in the open)

:D

You knew I couldn't resist googling it.

I was kind of banging my head against my hand at her chosen attire for running into bush after weird lights XD

And now of course everyone is going to want to know where she ended up :D

All has been revealed in today's chapter! :D Maybe....... xD
I was giggling at the thought of a clueless lady flailing through the scrub in fancy clothes. At the same time, I don't know how she managed it. That stuff is near impassable!

Sometimes things written for fun end up being better reads than perfectionis-highly-edited ones. Not all that rough, promising start, and I don't know why but I quite liked the line “Shut your thoughts, idiot”.

That's what I think also! :) A lot of my favourite reads would not be considered highly-edited at all.
Hehe, I giggled outloud when I wrote that little piece of dialogue. :) I'm glad you liked it!

Day one is l👀king great. Now I'm gonna go hit day two. Very nice start. Keep it coming. 🙏

This will be interesting to see where she ended up. And really. 6 inch heels and a $ 400 dress in the wilderness...

🤣 I know! I was trying to make her as ridiculous as possible. That snooty rich-kid who has no idea about the realities of anything other than city living. I plan to throw so much mud at her. All in love. The more I think of her and the possibilities, the more I like her and hope her attitude changes. We'll see how it goes! 💕

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.35
TRX 0.12
JST 0.040
BTC 70597.89
ETH 3559.60
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.77