How To Deal With Academic Admissions Fraud

in #opinion5 years ago

Many of you have heard of the academic scandal, here in the United States, where well-off citizens were caught bribing and buying spaces for their kids in various large Universities. Many of you are concerned about what to do next.

mike morell.jpg
Artist Mike Morrell

Like you, I was shocked and appalled to realize that wealthy and well-connected people used our fine and un-corruptible institutions to acquire unfair advantages. I hear you grumbling and I suggest we do not take this sitting down. We have got to get serious about this and nip it in the bud.

Let's not blame the kids. Those parents could easily have committed these crimes without the kid's knowledge. Therefore, the parent's must take full responsibility. A media event ought to be scheduled, probably on the main lawn of a courthouse in some major city, all twenty or thirty culprits marched out in an orderly line, then stood up in front of a VIP crowd and a prime time televised audience.

A proclamation should then be read, by a diverse assembly of government and religious leaders, damning their actions and charging those sonsofbitches of hieneous crimes against our shared community spirit. Each parent will then have an opportunity to beg forgiveness and apologize to all of us who are wounded by these assaults, and we have all been wounded in a deep way by this, and on our venerable and pure institutions.

Then, once shamed, they will be shoved to their knees and executed one by one with a single shot from a 9mm pistol to the head: Pop! ... Pop! ... Pop! ... right down the line.

If we really want to make an impression, leave the bodies lay for 24 hours on live feed as an example of what happens to cheaters.

Thank you.

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