I just read a wonderful post from a friend about her husband and how fathers often aren't recognized for their efforts. Then I saw another post showing that @aggroed has had his son, Julius. Congrats to him!

Reading these two posts made me turn my attention to my kids, as so often happens these days when I read things of that nature. Before becoming a father I couldn't really imagine having another human depending on me. What if I screw up? What do I do if he swallows something and chokes? What do I do if he falls? You know, I didn't even know how to hold a baby at that point. How do I even hold him!

I wasn't sure I wanted that pressure. I had a hard enough time managing myself.

But after my boy was born... staring at him as I clutched him tightly... (I didn't know how to hold kids, remember; I was afraid of dropping him) my life completely changed. It's really hard to explain to anyone not a parent and I'm not good enough with words to attempt to do so, so let's just leave it at that.

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My first boy's birthday is coming up in a month. Yeah, he is one of those unfortunates who has a birthday only days after X-mas. When I was a kid we always felt sorry for kids with birthdays close to X-mas. Two big gift days in a row, then wait an entire year for another! How hard it must be!

So anyway, his birthday is coming soon enough. I remember when I could rest his entire body on my forearm, and now he's almost too big for me to hold! They grow up fast.

I remember when he was born, my wife wasn't in very good shape. As a result, at night every time he cried, every time he needed changed or fed, I was the one who did it. There were many nights in a row when I didn't get any sleep at all. It was tough. I'd come home from work exhausted, but then hear him crying and immediately go help out, and pretty much continue doing that until leaving for work the next day. I lived on coffee in those days. Hmm. Still do, come to think of it.

But even at the time I was so happy holding him. My boy. My boy! I couldn't get over—and I still can't get over—the fact that I helped create him. Another human being. Amazing!

Nowadays as crazy as it sounds, I kind of miss those days. He's too big to hold on my lap like a baby and he doesn't need me singing him to sleep.

I'll share one additional photo here. One when he was about 9 months. With hyper moving kids, it is tough to get out the nice camera and take a decent photo, but I was able to do so with this one. One of my favorites. I don't remember what he was chewing on there. A plastic ring from a toy, maybe.

Parenthood is wonderful.

❦

	David LaSpina is an American photographer lost in Japan, trying to capture the beauty of this country one photo at a time. More?