Humorous Product Review: Figgy PopssteemCreated with Sketch.

in #partiko5 years ago

Did you enjoy the Harry Potter movies? When you first watched the Sorcerer's Stone, did you develop a nasty infatuation with Bertie's Every Flavor Beans? More than a decade later, do you still want some revolting beans but are trying to eat healthy? Can't justify buying something that both tastes bad and is bad for you?

Well worry not my friends! Today I present to you a product that not only is super healthy, but you're gonna have a hard time believing you're not eating vomit! It's...

Figgy pops front

If I've named you to a T, then this product is for you! Certified organic, non GMO, vegan raw vomit snack in a BPA-free pouch! All the pure, wholesome vomit flavor with none of the chemical additives.

Just check out some of the great info on the back!

Figgy pops back

With delightful ingredients like cocoa, dates, and cherries, how could you possibly go wrong?

Well something went wrong. Add in the rest of the ingredients, and you're guaranteed a healthy dose of nutrient-rich nausea. And it lingers too! Can it get any better?

Actually yes. I love the directions on the back, "Step 1: open the bag. Step 2: snack in triumph. Step 3: grab your camera because you're gonna want to remember the moment that [healthy food always tastes bad was never a more true statement]." Ok well it should have said that.

But I guess it's comforting to know it was probably intentional because "the same old, same old has never been [their] style."


I hope you got a chuckle out of this silly post. While I like having a good laugh, I assure you I am serious that these certainly do leave a vomit aftertaste in your mouth. I would rather eat broccoli or Brussels sprouts instead of these (not totally fair, I actually like broccoli). And I would have grabbed something to get rid of the taste except I wanted to try to figure out what ingredients came together to create vomit. Cherries and cocoa were two heavy hitters definitely.

Let me know what your think! Do they taste like vomit to you? Do you want me to send you the rest of my bag? Can you tell what other flavors play a big role in bringing out the vomit? I don't want to say it's all that bad; maybe it's just weird for me? Let me know if you plan on trying it, or plan on daring someone else to try it!

Posted using Partiko Android

Sort:  

Thank you so much for being an awesome Partiko user! We have just given you a free upvote!

The more Partiko Points you have, the more likely you will get a free upvote from us! You can earn 30 Partiko Points for each post made using Partiko, and you can make 10 Points per comment.

One easy way to earn Partiko Point fast is to look at posts under the #introduceyourself tag and welcome new Steem users by commenting under their posts using Partiko!

If you have questions, don't feel hesitant to reach out to us by sending us a Partiko Message, or leaving a comment under our post!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.35
TRX 0.12
JST 0.040
BTC 71539.00
ETH 3603.23
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.75