Dowry system now a culture or social practice
The picture was taken when a month ago when a younger sister got married. A middle income family had to give around $2000 worth furniture, including bed, sofa, fridge and so on (I call it dowry) for her husband house.
People now don't want to say that it is dowry but a gift. But i can realized that how hard for a family to arrange the money. Most bride family afraid that if they don't give such gifts then ther daughter will get less importance, get ignorance or insult by husband's family. But no one wants to talk about it openly.
Bride family often go for loan to make their daughter happy. In Sylhet it is now a culture of giving by bride family. Another strange thing is that, sometimes bride her family as she thinks she need to gain good respect in new husband family. It is really funny to think but it is real thing.
So people who have lot of money are giving gifts or dowry when it creates pressure to middle income or lower income family. So can we remove the system? NO. until people starts be themselves.
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This tradition is very painful for people to stand.
There used to be a dowry system in Ireland until quite recently but it was abandoned as people began to wake up from the oppression of this backwards system.
John Wayne made a movie about it called. The Quiet Man.
When I look at this film now. It looks so stupid how men behaved. 😂
U+R
Thanks a lot for the comment. It is sad that it is still happening in many countries. Only if men come forward and don't take the gifts from wife families, the circumstances will change. Even the bride family is rich and want to offer something to the groom, the men should not take it. It eventually has a negative effect on other families. Some of our friends are highly motivated and will not take anything when we marry. But sad is when we arrange a marriage for our sisters. We are not forced but society already made it as like culture.
Time to change the culture then?
If one person is not free to chose their own path. Then none of us are free.
Are women not equal to men?
It is consciously accepted. People aware of it but when it is their turn, man doesn't sacrifice the gifts or dowry. But most groom families don't ask. bride families do it to make their daughter happy. Hidden pressure still goes to the family. I hope the new generation will make it happen and change the culture. Girls are not free to choose their partner even boys. Most of the time parents do it, negotiation happens about marriage security on behalf of girls family. The world still facing the challenge to ensure gender equality. I think no country could ensure it 100%. Bangladesh is far behind of it yet.
It is interesting that you and so many of your friends are against this outdated dowry thing. That must give you hope for the future?
Not just over there. We have had laws in this country (UK) since the 1970's about equal pay for all but still women make far less money than men.
There is no excuse in this country. The culture is not the problem. It's the failure to enforce the law.
Good luck to you. Hope it works out the way you want.
yes. It is a hope of course. We will see how we can keep motivating others this way. Sorry to know that such things happen in the country Like the UK. We need a long way to go as a developing country then. Thanks and good luck for you too. and have a nice weekend.
Not only in Sylhet it's a problem around in our country. The problem can be better solved by the groom's side. If the groom himself feel how disgraceful it is to take gift/dowry from bride's side, the percentage will come low.
Thanks for sharing!
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you are right. Thanks for nice comment
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