Why should we embrace the negative feelings

Being positive is the new form of moral correctness , says a TED lecture, Harvard psychologist Dr. Susan David, gaining worldwide popularity with his concept of "emotional plasticity."

In a study that I recently conducted with 70,000 people, I found that one-third of us (one-third!) Or judged ourselves to be experiencing so-called "bad emotions" like sadness, anger, and even grief; actively trying to suppress them. We do it not only to ourselves but also to the people we love - for example, to our children, as we do not want them to be ashamed of emotions that we see as negative, we hurry with solutions and fail to help them to see that these emotions are valuable in themselves.

Normal, natural emotions today are divided into "good" and "bad". But when we suppress normal emotions to embrace a false positivity, we lose the ability to develop our coping skills in the world - as it is, not what we want it to be.

Hundreds of people have come to tell me what they do not want to feel . For example: "I do not want to try because I do not want to feel disappointed" or "I just want that feeling to get away". "I understand you," I answer, but these are the purposes of the dead. " Enough, if you are dead, you will never be rejected and feelings will not inconvenience you. Only the dead people never get stressed, they do not suffer broken hearts, they do not feel the disappointment that accompanies the failure.

Difficult emotions are part of our contract with life. You can not build a meaningful career or create a family, or leave the world behind you better without stress and discomfort. Discomfort is the price for access to meaningful life.