Birthday Musings: The Evolution of Me starring Ayn Rand, Pearl Jam and more...

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I got from THERE to HERE:

The Heroes of my transformation- from an oblivious being with blind faith in what I had been told by my elders- to a critical thinking being...

It all started when I was 16 years old. I went to visit my cousin in Boston, and while we were walking around Harvard square we ran into street musicians.

They were singing this:

Closer to Fine

"I'm tryin' to tell you somethin' 'bout my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white"

"There's more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line... And the less I seek my source for some definitive- the closer I am to fine."

I bought two Indigo Albums the next day.

Galileo

"And as the bombshells of my daily fears explode, I try to trace them to my youth"

"If we wait for the time till all souls get it right, then at least I know there'll be no nuclear annihilation in my lifetime"

Least Complicated

"So long ago when we were taught
That for whatever kind of puzzle you got
You just stick the right formula in
A solution for every fool"

"What makes me think I could start clean slated, the hardest to learn was the least complicated"

A year later my mom came across a college scholarship- I was to read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand and write a five page paper on what it means. (Mom had no idea what she was handing me- the world is a funny place)

I didn't finish in time to submit- but I did finish.

And it changed my world.

“I could die for you. But I couldn't, and wouldn't, live for you.”

“Freedom is: To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”

“To sell your soul is the easiest thing in the world. That's what everybody does every hour of his life. If I asked you to keep your soul - would you understand why that's much harder?”

“Don't fool yourself, my dear. You're much worse than a bitch. You're a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.”

“Listen to what is being preached today. Look at everyone around us. You've wondered why they suffer, why they seek happiness and never find it. If any man stopped and asked himself whether he's ever held a truly personal desire, he'd find the answer. He'd see that all his wishes, his efforts, his dreams, his ambitions are motivated by other men. He's not really struggling even for material wealth, but for the second-hander's delusion - prestige. A stamp of approval, not his own. He can find no joy in the struggle and no joy when he has succeeded. He can't say about a single thing: 'This is what I wanted because I wanted it, not because it made my neighbors gape at me'. Then he wonders why he's unhappy.”

It was Ayn Rand who concreted the bond between me and my soul mate- the third time we saw one another I came upon him reading the Fountainhead. I told him that I was also reading it and he looked at me like I had sprouted another head, then challenged me with questions that sparked an incredible conversation.

To this day I have never met another individual, in person, who has read that book. I get why he stared at me like that now- a truly large coincidence in retrospect.

And we also shared another love- Pearl Jam

Elderly woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town

"I just want to scream...Hello!"

Nothingman

"Some words once spoken, can't be taken back"

Release Me

"I see the words on a rocking horse of time"

"I'll ride the wave, where it takes me"

He then introduced me to:

Tom Robbins

“When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”

“...disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business....”

“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words "make" and "stay" become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free.”

“Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously.”

And I in turn, introduced him to Sara Mclachlan- before she was popular:

Possession

"Through this world I stumble
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
To find the truth enslaved"

"Oh you speak to me in riddles
And you speak to me in rhymes
My body aches to breathe your breath
Your words keep me alive"

Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

"Companion to our demons
they will dance, and we will play
With chairs, candles, and cloth
making darkness in the day"

"and if I shed a tear I won't cage it
I won't fear love
and if I feel a rage I won't deny it
I won't fear love
Peace in the struggle
to find peace"

Those artists/musicians/authors marked the beginning of a new era in my life, one where I questioned everything and took nothing for granted.

That hasn't changed.

It never will.

And now, I am off to a birthday adventure- hope you enjoyed reminiscing with me- My Lovely Steemit People!

Generously created for me by @son-of-satire

Have you filled your witness votes?
Check out these passionate and competent souls:@ocd-witness, @teamsteem, @steemgigs, @ausbitbank, @roelandp and @dragosroua; then go to https://steemit.com/~witnesses
If you don't see their name, simply write it in the empty box at the bottom of the page.

To better understand what a witness does read @dragosroua's post Witnesses: What they are and why you should care