Relationships are transactional?

I remember the first time I said this, and I remember it vividly. I mean, there is absolutely no way I would have thought about it, without questioning my very own moral fiber. Transactions? I mean, the word is used as a cold description of something that is purely material, like commerce, and we all want to believe, and I'm in that group as well, that relationships, friendships or even love are way above such things.

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However, in my mental exploration I did manage to find a way to reconcile the thought. Why was it important to do so you ask? Simply because I want to make sure I'm being honest with myself. The idea that I give without expectations of winning anything back is beautiful, inspiring, but is it entirely true? is it?

Before you begin to type your best attempt at dismissing my point, allow me a few more minutes of your mental bandwidth, I think I just might make my case and disarm you from any anger you might be feeling at the moment.

When I talk about transactions, I'm not exclusively talking about things that can be commoditized, that have a strict value in dollars or satoshis. I am also referring to things that have experiential value, and thus are just as precious to you and me.

In the name of honesty, you can't possibly tell me that the only reason why you became close with someone was because of some altruistic ideology, or I should say, I can't. For example, some people are fascinating artists, thus they inspire me, some are amazing thinkers and challenge me, some are great listeners and they become a shoulder for a tired soul, but everyone in my life today and in the past has been assigned a value, even if describing such value is very difficult to do.

I find the idea of accepting that all relationships are transactional to be quite liberating. In my mind, If I can accept that I am friends with someone because they bring me joy, maybe because of how funny they can be, their talent, their kind nature or what have you, allows me to appreciate the relationship that much more. In other words, I do not take it for granted, I'm recognizing the value.

You might think I might not be right in the head for confessing this, but I've even told friends of mine that our friendship is transactional, just to see how they react to the truth. "Hey brother, you know why I like you... because you always give me some real talk... and I need it, that's why I call you my friend... for the real talk!" - Of course this implies that if the very reason why the interactions have been happening, the reasons why the friendship has even sprouted were to be removed, that might signal the end of the relationship, but this latter assumption is not necessarily the case, simply because humans in more aspects than one, are very adaptable.

Imagine how crazy it is to tell someone the truth like this, and then picture me having done so over and over, because I'm crazy enough to test my theories. I've told my girl, more than once actually, that I love her and appreciate her, because she challenges me intellectually a lot, and as much as I may love the green eyes and the pretty face, that's not an uncommon trait, but her intellect is.

If you read that last paragraph, and you think I've gone mad, I would not blame you. But honestly, how about some brutal sincerity for your life too? is it scary? or would you find it refreshing?