Acceptance and Balance.
As we campaign for more acceptance, do we also need to stay aware of limits, lest we become the discriminators ourselves?
We're in an age of trying to find acceptance and it's great! We are trying to become more aware of how wonderfully diverse we are and how necessary that is. We're teaching our children how to accept themselves for who they are and how everyone else deserves to be accepted for who they are. We are teaching them how it's okay to be different and that our differences don't make us a misfit, but special.
Something that is now commonly said is, “if they don't like it, F them!” This is often our way of dealing with those who can't choose to accept us for who we are and our beliefs, while allowing ourselves to say it's okay not to change for them. It's usually a way of walking away from a situation, rather than getting embroiled in a fight, yet what about when our behaviours and beliefs no longer just affect ourselves, but others too?
When my daughter was staying with some other family members, she found them to be quite aggressive with one another. We are a quiet family and respectful towards one another, so for her, this aggressive behaviour wasn’t normal, but for them it was. She chose to withdraw herself from the situation and was criticised for not dealing with it and for speaking up when her cousin physically hurt her or threatened her. It was their opinion that she needed to “toughen up,” be accepting of her cousins and love them all. They were offended that she would withdraw herself from situations when they got aggressive. Yet what about them accepting her for the way she is and allowing that she may not be comfortable with what they see as normal?
I'm not comfortable with swearing. I find it unnecessary and it can feel like an attack, because swearing mostly comes out in anger, frustration or pain. However, I'm also aware that there are people who feel like they are being oppressed if others tell them not to swear and will ‘effin’ swear if they want!’ Well, sure, yes they can swear, but does it mean I need to stay in their company? Does it mean that they shouldn't accept that there may be people who will potentially judge them on it or be uncomfortable with it?
I recently watched this video.
It's the experience of Julia Beck, a lesbian who was involved with a LGBT community and was the only representative for her sexuality. She describes an interesting aspect which came up and called for her to accept something that she couldn't. It essence, it hinged upon her being asked to accept a transgender woman who identifies as a lesbian. For someone whose sexual attraction and love is for the physical female body, she didn't feel she should be forced to accept someone who had a male physical body as a potential partner or that other lesbians should be pressured to either. She has campaigned much of her life for acceptance and equality for a vulnerable female population, so for her this becomes a breach of safety. At the start of the video she mentions a transgender, lesbian woman imprisoned for rape, who was been put in with the female population and then sexually assaulted some of the women there.
She brings up other issues and it's worth a watch. It highlights that while we campaign for acceptance for everyone and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, we need to remember that, as with most things in life, it's a balancing act. We all have rights, but there is a point where ours end and others' begin. We would do well to be aware and open our minds to be able to see when our wishes and desires start to impact and harm others. Yes, we all want to be accepted for who we are, but it doesn't mean that others should be forced to accept that in us which goes against their best interests.
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Tricky stuff - where do my rights end and where do yours begin? Are you required to stand and listen just because I feel the need to rant and verbally abuse someone? Opening our hearts and FEELING our energetic connection to the other is always a softening and a beginning - if there is will on both parts and safety. And not everyone chooses to grow or evolve, and walking away might be the best option. Kudos on sharing thoughtfully about a difficult subject.
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It certainly is tricky, but if we keep an open mind and are ready with a bit of forgiveness for when mistakes are made, we ought to be able to balance things.
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Oooh food for thought!! I'm in and here's my few cents 😁
I'm one of those people who uses the f bomb like it's an "and" or "the" if anything just for emphasis and habit, but it doubles/triples and get more colourful when I am pissed off. Believe it or not there was a time were I was meek and had perfect manners and didn't swear like a sailor but in my teens I found myself in a situation where if I didn't harden up I'd get eaten alive so I adapted and adjusted.
I quickly realised at a young age that people do not necessarily have the same manners and sense of boundaries as I do and I'm actually quite a sensitive person so I was always dumbfounded and hurt by the shit people think is appropriate or passable behaviour thus the adjustment.
As much as ideally everyone accepts everyone for who they are, the sad reality is that's not always going to happen. As a society we're all not there yet and for me it's not so much as acceptance of myself that I am after (I am a complex creature after all) but I do require respect towards my boundaries. The reality is, we don't actually need to put up with anyone or accept anyone and I think this is how people find their people and grow.
Imagine a flower surrounded by aggressive weeds all up in their space, not being given the space or time to flourish. Then imagine that flower among its genus where they talk to each other and sync up.
As for the transgender community and humans built as men competing in women's events because they identify as women ~ I think people just need to be bloody honest with themselves. I see and respect that they identify as a woman but let's be real here, you weren't built as one despite what you feel. And in terms of physical capabilities, sure there's some girly men out there that I can probably outwork, but at the end of the day are they going to suffer through their periods every month.
Not saying every women suffer through it but I sure as hell do, and as much as I can probably out work that girly man most of the month, I'm sure as hell still going to have those few days of "dont f. with me" and go through my monthly. Will they ever get their periods? I don't know, I'm not up to date with this, but my point is. We aren't built the same, as much as transgender people think they are the other sex, fact of the matter is, you got shafted and chucked in another body and yall need to be real about that.
And in terms of competitive sport yall need to compete in the field your body was made of not the body you wish you were in.
Yes, community is definitely important. As we become bigger in our cities and distances traveled for work, we become more disconnected. Yet in theory we should also be able to find more people like us that we can connect with.
I grew up in a rough neighborhood, but never needed to swear. They used to tease me occasionally for being well spoken, but nothing other than that. I'm a redhead, though, so maybe it's the rumour of the temper which comes with it that meant people didn't mess with me. Lol! Or maybe it's the resting bitch face...🤔 I had the occasional person try it on, but just stared at them and they would leave me alone.
Few people are happy with their lot. It may not be as extreme as being born into the wrong gender, but you are right, we have to learn to live with what we're born with and accept the limits come with it. Some interesting thoughts on this, Arly. Thank you for your few cents. 😁
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It takes effort to find one's tribe but when you do it's awesome. I know more than others that one's tribe isn't necessarily the one they were born into.
The rough hood helps, being one of the lads helps, but what helps the most on the swearing department is if you've grown up around people who swore and was rough with their words on the regular.
I reckon being a ranga would have helped! ;) the resting bitch face would have worked a treat too!
❤
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The whole transgender thing is really throwing a spanner in the works for the LGBTNEEDICONTINUE community.
Every few days we're hearing stories of men at the highest levels of a sport like weight lifting, briefly identifying as a woman, long enough to break all of the female world records, then re-identifying as a man.
I even saw a petition among Trump supporters, that on his last day in office he should publicly identify as a woman for a few hours; forcing his ideological opponents to either abandon transgenderism or to accept him as the first female president of the USA.
It's funny that you mentioned this because yesterday I saw a person on Twitter who broke several records doing just that... Very funny xD
Okay, now I have to say, I agree, people should be aware of reality can't be what they want them to be:
Transgenderism makes no sense for various reasons. The first and the main one is that it is impossible. And it is impossible, not because I say so, not because science says so... It is impossible because Nature says so and Nature is in fact the most powerful force on the planet.
The second could be exactly what you have just raised, at a societal and legal level is more of a joke than something truly objective and rational. I would like to point out that in countries like Argentina, criminals (including rapists) have taken advantage of this type of law to change their genders and get them put in prisons for women.
That would be hilarious.
Greetings!
I think with transgenderism we're reaching an area which can never be clear cut. With male and female it is physically identifiable and the only thing that might throw a spanner in the works is a hermaphrodite. With transgenderism, it's not physically identifiable and as we can't read minds, we can't truly understand it without being in their position and we can't even know for certain that they aren't lying. So how can we then make rulings for their gender? It's one thing to accept someone for who they are, but another to rule that everyone else must accept them physically into their private space. Interestingly, it's the transgender woman who creates the most controversy, because the transgender man is little threat to the male community, but someone who was previously a man could most certainly be a danger to the female community.
I have to admit that I thought that a transgender woman could only compete in sport as a woman if they'd completed a full sex change physically and hormonally, which wouldn't allow for reversion to a man very easily. I just found the articles on the rapper who did that, though, as a demonstration. If nothing else it would certainly raise the question of where to draw the line and maybe specify full physical change. However, it also then pressures individuals to make a physical change to their bodies, which I don't necessarily agree with if they aren't ready for that.
Trump could really set some firsts if he did that. Not only the first female president, but the first transgender woman leader in the world! 😂
Exactly, and in a way the LGBTQWERTY++ Community is going that way by trying to create hundreds of different genres. It is something that is not applicable at the legal level because it is impossible to implement, let alone do it efficiently.
It is not even necessary to talk about science in this aspect. The argument in favor of all this that they seek to impose by force through the apparatus of the State is extremely weak and is inapplicable in a serious way.
It is extremely curious that there are no transgender men playing sports in male categories but there are transgender women competing in female categories. Certainly, biology is to blame for this haha.
If Trump did that it would be an absolute Big Bang to all SJWs and Democrats hahahaha.
Interesting listen and point of view. I think this 'acceptance till it hurts' is a huge issue in our world today. Who we are doesn't matter as much as who others are and what we accept and that's shameful.
It's an interesting video - it's difficult to remember sometimes that there are well balanced people out there, in this mad, sick world.
Excellently put. As well as this quote,
Very important to remember.
It's certainly a confusing world at the moment. No wonder depression and anxiety are rife.
I can't take full credit for that first quote. It was a slight change on what Michael of Bernicia says, "my rights end where yours begin."
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Yeah, this can be a tough one. Withdrawing from aggression can be a good thing, but then again there are times when non aggressive self assertiveness is the order of the day.
Balance is key, but difficult to practice and it takes weighing things up, often very quickly before having to make a decision which road to take.
This is where mistakes can get made.
I also think life is short and there are people who have views and opinions that I know will never change their minds about, so it's a waste of my energy to even bother trying to do so (unless they are in immediate danger, etc. of course).
A very good point. I guess this is the point where having confidence in your own morals helps to make that quick decision, but you also need to be ready for consequences.
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