My Thoughts On Being Yourself in a World That Constantly Wants to Change You (DTube)
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Why are we Afraid of Being Ourselves?
We all know the answer to that. We are afraid to be ourselves because that will mean that we will get kicked out of society. We can lose our jobs, friends, family, partners and more because we suddenly started showing sides of ourselves that we have constantly repressed.
"Speaking is silver, silence is golden" must be a law of power or something because if we do not say anything then we cannot piss anyone off.
Simply said: We are afraid to lose what we "have".
(Click here to watch the video on DTube)
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We Imprison Ourselves
By repressing ourselves we imprison ourselves and that is also why so many people are depressed nowadays without knowing why.
Be repressing ourselves to get liked by others we make them more important than ourselves.
Here are some unspoken social rules to get liked which we have to follow if we want to feel like a member of our society:
1. Don’t interrupt others while they’re talking.
2. Smile.
3. Let others go in front of you.
4. Say please or you’ll look rude.
5. Say thank you or you’ll seem ungrateful.
6. Hold the door for others.
7. Don’t say anything that could come off as offensive, derogatory, critical, presumptuous, assuming, pretentious…as a matter of fact it’s best to try to refrain from speaking altogether.
8. Don’t dress in a way that draws unnecessary attraction to yourself.
9. Don’t make any movements that might draw unnecessary attraction to yourself.
10. Avoid eye contact with the homeless. If you do happen to make eye contact, pretend you always intended on giving money and smile about it.
11. Try not to do anything that will make anyone upset with you.
12. Apologize even when you’re not sure what you’re supposed to be sorry for.
13. Just to be safe, try to feel sorry all the time, even when there’s nothing to be sorry about.
14. Don’t do anything that might embarrass your family.
How to be Ourselves?
Courage! Courage is the only thing that helps us to stay who we are because people will pressure us into being "normal".
If you receive a lot of pressure to change then you must endure that pressure and remember that this pressure will always be there more or less and that it will be over.
See this pressure as feedback that you are doing it right, because changing yourselves to get liked by other people is slavery and definitely not something you want to do!
Youtube Version
My Website: www.PhilipBraselmann.com
What is this "normal" anyway? 😄
I've had a brief chat with you in the Discord about how I have been formally diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum. For many people who are on the Spectrum, those "unspoken social rules" often catch us out. It is right there in the DSM-V clinical manualᵃ. Interpreting social situations is commonly not something we are good at.
This whole concept of being "normal" is a farce. We are all different, and we should be celebrating those differences rather than trying to seek "normalcy" and conformity. Anything less than true inclusion, diversity, and uniqueness can ultimately lead us toward the genocide of those deemed "abnormal". Just ask Professor Charles Francis Xavierᵇ about that! 😆
REFERENCES:
[a] DSM-5 ASD Checklist (pdf, 164kB).
[b] Professor X (Wikipedia).
Even adds references lol, that killer comment.
Thank you for sharing those insights buddy, enjoy the 100%.
Thank you Phil, I appreciate it. 👍
Do you only get the "bad parts" of being autistic? From what i've heard some people on the autism spectrum get lower SQ(social coefficient) but higher IQ(intelligence coefficient) , i think it's called savant syndrom, like rain man, i'm always amazed at what some people with savant syndrom can do... the most incredible part is that some aren't born like this but instead get a brain injury that makes their whole brains structure restructure and they get this savant abilities like being human calculators, or memorizing whole books!
The only time i think we shouldn't celebrate those differences is when those differences make others suffer and pull humanity down, radical muslims for example can be considered just different, but i wouldn't celebrate them, in my country we still allow bullfighting and people use the excuse that it's part of our culture, it's normal and that people would lose jobs if it was banned, they think it is normal but i don't consider it normal and i wouldn't celebrate these differences...
Hi @teutonium, great question about the difference between SQ and IQ. I totally agree that there are many positives to being on the Spectrum. However, being that it is a "spectrum", as such, it also depends on each individual's lived experience of Autism. Being on the Spectrum is common in my family. There is a strong genetic thread. I have a cousin who is about 10 years younger than me who is also at the higher functioning end of the Spectrum, as I am. We also have a much younger cousin who is lower down on the SQ range of the Spectrum, and has limited verbal skills.
I am married to a wonderful woman who happens to have Spina Bifida ("SB"). Since meeting her I have learned to appreciate this concept of a "spectrum". For people with SB, the height of the lesion on their spine before birth determines whether they are likely to ever walk unaided. Within their community, people with SB often identify their particular unique function by their vertebrae level, so they might say something like "I'm an S3" (lesion at 3rd sacral region) or "I'm an L2" (lesion at 2nd lumbar region). Once you know the levels and the order of the bones in the spine, you can quickly get a picture just from that tiny piece of information about their particular circumstances, whether they are likely to be independently mobile or rely on mobility aids. One of the most famous people with SB is John Cougar Mellencampᵃ, and he didn't even know about SB until he was 12 years old! His lesion is very high up on his neck, apparently.
REFERENCES:
[a] John Mellencamp - Early Life (Wikipedia).
@valorforfreedom you shouldn't have to change at all. In the end you have to do what makes "YOU" happy. You asked why should you care what people think when you yelled out..... It is simple YOU SHOULDN'T. As for the list that you read, some things are just common courtesy the rest don't make much sense to me. "Try not to offend anyone." Another simple thing here, it doesn't matter what you say there will always someone that doesn't like it or gets offended by it. There is no way that everyone will like what you say, how you act or how you think BUT there are some people that will and do. Those are the people that you want to speak with, be friends with and maybe hang out with. It all comes down to how you deal with it. Phil once again great post and I look forward to the next one.
P.S. Regarding you hating masks. BATMAN looks awesome in a mask. That mask makes him what he is and also lets him be who he really wants to be. LOL!
Thank you for that wise comment Gerry :)
Well said! I am gonna copy paste that into my inspirational quotes : )
True... you can be whoever you want if you wear a mask LOL.
Hey man, I really like this so far. Great editing, good message! Perspectives to strive for, not always easy to do. My videos are all about being myself, please stop by! Subscribed!
What is your Discord contact? We can do some work together if you want to, I see you publish posts on a daily basis just like I do.
great post ever i read in my life i am commenting this because you remind me my past when i behave that what will other thing what they will say but they will feel like that but we all know that every negativity has a limit, beyond our thinking there is nothing which can disappoint ourselves i read many articles but as we all know that their should be something unique and related to our life that gave us experience and kick to move on, that is why i will vote for you dear keep doing always.
Thank you Raksha : )
hey @valorfofreedom, i am votes and follow, so plz votes and follow my post
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