Sometimes I Wish I Was a Real Model
To be a naked doll
Have a stylist pick up my clothes, dress me up, a makeup artist to paint my face, hairstylist to do my hair, assistant to drive us to a beautiful location and I’d jump in front of a professional photographers camera. All I would have to do is act, that’s it.
No need to worry about the camera settings, focus, lighting, camera angles, post process, wardrobe malfunction, any of that.
In reality I could never be a real model, I would hate it
Not even getting into the physical trades a model needs, but the actual job of working as a model.
Running in castings every day listening to people tell me all the things that are wrong with my looks and how unfit I would be for their client. I don’t go asking and begging for a job, I’m used to being asked if I wanna work for someone. I want clients to call me, or not call, because I hate answering the phone, but you know, Whatsapp or some shit like that, and tell me that I would be perfect for them.
Even if I were to get a modelling gig, I would hate being a puppet. Do this, walk like this, wear this, say this. I’m not a blank canvas, I don’t want to wear clothes or makeup I don’t like, or live out someones fantasy or vision if it doesn’t work with mine.
One woman show
I love being in control of everything, creating the vision that is all mine. The set, my character and my story. All the glory and fame, all mine! Jk.
When things don’t work out like I want them to, I throw a few hissy fits here and there, threaten to stop all self portrait work but I always get over it soon. Even after all the obstacles, I’m almost never left empty handed after my shoots. I may be mad, pissed and disappointed in myself but at the end, it’s the results that matter and they are the only thing that will be remembered when some time passes.
For my next two posts, I’ll show exactly why I keep doing self portrait photography, even when it’s sometimes very hard. I was really struggling with the focus and framing the image. I was running up and down the beach and getting really frustrated. I also made the rookie mistake and didn’t bring a backup battery for my camera, and the last 10-15 pictures, aka the good ones, were done while the battery was already flashing a red warning sign. I was loosing light, it was getting cold and the battery was dying, but damn I work well under pressure!
I was actually scared going through the pictures on the big screen because I thought I might have nothing to show for my efforts, but lo and behold, I got way more than something.
Never be envious of an archaic system that's how it used to be you're now part of the trend of what its going to be! we're moving into a world of independent contractors where we don't sell our value creation off for a monthly payment and call it a stable job.
We sell it at what we think is a fair market value. While it may not be the same situation I do feel the same way about it. When I started out in tech as a spritely young student all I wanted to do was work and get myself up the corporate ladder. I never took vacations, worked overtime for no additional pay and I did see growth in my career but nowhere near what I wanted. After just about 4 years of working, I decided enough was enough.
I quit my job started my own company with the help of my co-founder and its the best decision I ever made. I dictate the way things are done, they are all on my terms and while it still has its own issues I have complete control and choice, my soul feels better about it too and I get to go on holiday and work from anywhere :)
I used to work really hard for someone else too, but that got pretty tiring after years of having to do as they wanted, and when they wanted. Mind you, my work had nothing to do with what I now :D
But it's amazing to be your own boss, even when the risks are obviously a lot bigger than working on a regular job.
Well, I'm glad we both saw the light! Following your passion and what you enjoy and getting paid to do it is a satisfaction very few people get to enjoy! I kinda enjoy the sleepless nights and the risk keeps things exciting and you learn much quicker :) You're posts always get me in the feels, someone crack open a window its getting emotional in here
Funny thing, I actually stress less and sleep better because I'm so happy I get to do this and earn my living in a volatile crypto space :D
I wonder what kind of feels tone down by opening a window 😝
Lol maybe you just have a really comfy bed and that’s why you sleep better you did mention you tend to work out of bed many days too so it must be pretty cosy
Well I normally get 2 types of feels from your posts emotional open a window or emotional take a cold shower! 😋
Photography is an art. Many people do not look good when wearing a very short dress. But I say art is always admirable. Whatever it is.
You write well. I appreciate. You looks so gorgeous and like model in the photography. Thanks @eveuncovered.
I like this environment lake, trees etc.. You did a nice job despite your setbacks!
I wish I can caltivate such virtues like you. You seem focused on what you do and you know where you want to be in the near future. Nothing comes easy bu when you follow your passion, everyone envies you and seek to learn from you. All the best as we wait for the next post.
Virtue, hmmm, I don't think what I do is very virtuous ;) But yeah, I do have passion and goals.
well come on over.... i know there's at least one other person in San Francisco that wants to shoot with you too ;)
Jason, have you not learned anything after all the ball busting? 😈
Sounds like I've found someone with real passion and willing to go the way. ;) Being in control of everything can be stressfull matter, but also the reward could be of a deeper quality.
Allow me to ask you something about your pictures: First of all, I see that you know how to compose pictures :) For my taste, they look a bit too underexposed. Well, it could be that this was meant to be to express a specific mood that's why I am asking.
sometimes you just got to beat the drum to your own rhythm, because it won't sound right to anyone else's. It won't always be a good rhythm, but it's yours. how many other people can say that?
Silly girl, you're more than enough the way you are. Looks, talents, backbone and determination. You don't take a half bad photo either hey, hahahahaha.
I enjoy that you are the way you are and who you are, hence I'm back every day. Never mundane or boring, always a little more than just so your efforts pay off.
Now sunshine girl, keep bringing on the good stuff