THE DAILY SPIGOT: 6/11/18 – Make $3500, + Free Stay In Hotel, Just For Catching The Flu

in #poetry6 years ago

Make $3500, + Free Stay In Hotel, Just For Catching The Flu

You can go to a St. Louis Missouri hotel, and get paid 35 hundred dollars
You’ll get catered meals but you must catch the flu, as a subject for doctors and scholars.
To test the effectiveness of their flu vaccines, you’ll stay at Water Tower Inn.
You should do it if you like vaccines, but we’d fear a post-test health tailspin.

Eminem thought it would be a cool thing, to have sound effects sounding like gunshots
As part of his show on Friday night, it shows that he’s one of the crackpots.
We think a class action suit is in order, to compensate the crowd in attendance.
To be this stupid must mean that, psychopaths are in his descendents?
Then the jerk had the audacity, to tell folks it wasn’t a “gunshot”
It was just a loud boom so if anyone panicked, remind them I’m a master of cheap shot.

The “Dancing Doctor” of Georgia, who’s been sued by 9 of her patients
One of which suffered brain damage; we think it reveals her complacence.
The doctor has stated the videos she made, were requested by those that she ‘treated’
We think she may be missing some vital, brain fluid that wasn’t secreted.

Pippa Middleton has revealed, she kept her pregnancy news from her trainer.
We recognize this is a groundbreaking story; we’d write Pippa all day for a retainer.
She don’t suffer morning sickness, like her sister Kate has done
A trainer said she should have told; good advice for an expectant one.


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The news, the news, there's so much in the news
The daily fabrications are so grand.
You likely won't be seeing much differing of views
Because they're all in lock step, understand?

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