itchy fingers, restless soul

"itchy fingers, restless soul"

itchy fingers, restless soul;
propelled by sudden conflicts.
thighs are trembling, heart is quivering.
wondering if it's meant to handle this much confusion.
sitting on this chair, lost for words.
lost for feelings. lost for emotions.
wandering across this minefield of love,
a labyrinth of hungry bodies.
is this a power play? or a play of power?
impulsiveness combined with curiosity,
leading down to a path of who-knows-what.
along came california, bike in a hand and guitar in the other.
a semi-charmed smile, scruffy beard and hippie persona.
there were so many question marks - a challenge.
set out to discover, realizing the safety net is only an illusion.
throw out the inhibitions, let loose and live in the moment.
hot-blooded fool, thirsty for knowledge and experience.
figuring out the mechanics, holding onto shaky beliefs.
it's hard to stay grounded when he could take you so high.
but the desire to find meaning to the act is simply that much stronger than our primitive needs.
physical pleasure extends only to a certain point.
after which, it's the connection and real chemistry that make the difference.
and now, the open mind is altering.
evaluating. analyzing. considering. contemplating.
maybe it's not about the perfect one.
maybe it's about the moment.
our emotions prevail. our feelings are emperors.
but it's hard to decide when emotions and feelings are impossible to provoke these days.
it was never meant to be casual.
it's just a wrong cause, that happened to be on the wrong bound of train.
lessons derived, new ideas are being juggled.
a friend is always better than an enemy.
listen to your heart. it beats irregularly.
there is still hope.
there is still a chance.

it's not bland. it's ecstatic.
but one can't afford countless repeated mistakes.
mistakes? the door swings both ways.
mistakes might take one higher.
mistakes eliminate preconceived notions.
mistakes might not be mistakes.
let's hope this ill-fated disease fades away.
and brings in a new tide that's able to believe and inevitably,
love deeply again...

Image credits to pixabay