SteemitPoetryContest #15 - "Writing whilst you dream"

in #poetry6 years ago

Writing whilst you dream

While I am writing, you are somewhere lost in a state of REM
Hiding behind adventuring eyelids whilst laying still beside me
The moment when latent ideas awaken, breathing life into inklings
That is the time of night when words come to me.

First slowly, softly, thoughtfully, then growing into their own confident being
Often eloquently and irrationally pouring onto not yet put-together pages
Lucidly imposing ideas of imaginary worlds on paper fibers or plastic keys
Capturing beauty, excitement, adversary, theatrics and tragedy.

And while I am writing, we drift into deeper spaces of dream-thought
Profoundly postulating between bedsheets and blankets
Constructing a chaotic catalogue of subconscious thinkings
I, purposefully, and you, waywardly - all of this writing whilst you dream.

-B.faye

photo11.jpg

All writing and sketches are original works done by me.
View more on Instagram at @bfayepoetry

Submitted for SteemitPoetryContest https://steemit.com/poetrycontest/@terrycraft/steemit-poetry-contest-15-winners-of-14
Much thanks to @terrycraft for putting this on!!

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Mostly we all think that we just need to have a vocabulary that just makes us able to talk with other people, but ...................when I come across some people like you who put the words to perfection I can simply admire. Every word has something special to offer and that makes the language beautiful. Wonderfully written

wish i had more punch power behind that vote because your comment really touched me. thank you for your words, i don't take them lightly, and they mean the world. Adding fuel to the fire for the next series of posts, and I think my new goal as a poet is to make sure "every word has something special to offer". <3

Writing while you dream. ^^

You bring me to your world while writing this. Great job :)

and if i accomplish nothing else, that is all that matters. that alone is liquid gold to a writers ears. I'm floating away now, thanks for that :)

You deserve it^^

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:) This was a very interesting read. It reminds me of certain videos I've seen about people who stand on the streets in USA with beat boxes and just declaim poetry to the rhythm, as if they were rapping. They usually have lyrics that are different from the norm of poetry, like this. It's always caught my attention.

omg the beat boxers and street hip hop is the BEST!!! and to be compared to the way they string together words so beautifully is such an honor to hear:) there's this group i discovered called the Legendary Cyphers that meets once a week in Union Square in NYC (its like one of the main parks/squares in Manhattan and is super active with skateboarders, singers, people playing jazz, etc). they are AMAZING!! they get together and battle each other for 1-2 hours and i will literally go and watch them the entire time, just standing on the outer rim of their circle and cheering them on. its an incredible energy and i really fell in love with it. ive even thought about doing it at first, but i process words slowly and i think the fastness of it scares me to death. they are truly masters of words though - it is such an art!

this is the legendary cyphers in their public battles in the square :)

Cyphers! I like the word "cypher" more than "crypto". Maybe I should create CypherSharon :D

I tried to watch the vid but I can't understand what they say hahaha. There was a time when I was a bit more familiarized with that specific dialect (NYC informal language used in raps) because my culture/literature teacher used to like that kind of stuff. But that was like 4 years ago and only for a few months. I've since forgotten a lot and lost the ease with which I've understood them. Perhaps if I watch a bunch of their vids I'll recover it relatively quickly.

and to be compared to the way they string together words so beautifully is such an honor to hear

It's not so hard to make this comparison. Look at this part:

And while I am writing, we drift into deeper spaces of dream-thought
Profoundly postulating between bedsheets and blankets
Constructing a chaotic catalogue of subconscious thinkings

Let's compare both genres, street hip hop and your poetry.

  1. Both have the metalanguage in common. Rappers often talk about their own rapping. I wouldn't find it strange for plenty of raps to contain phrases similar to "my words come out like machine gun bullets".

  2. There's the rhythmic sound of unliterary words uncommon to poetry but common to your thought processes (drift into deeper spaces of dream thought), which in a street hip hop community are mostly slang and common knowledge/common community topics, but, in your intimate writing process, are talk about space and thought processes.

  3. The strategy in classical poetry is mostly to fit only certain words and certain parts of the verses into a literary game of similitude/rhythm/metric, etc. But in your case and in the case of rap/hip hop, this common poetic game is distorted and liberated into other parts of the verse. We arrive thus to the alliteration in phrases like "profoundly postulating" (which is also an uncommon connection of words) and "bedsheets and blankets", which are pairs which start with the same letter (p-p, b-b) and have a long rhythmic sound.

  4. The last line of the cited text just sounds like hip-hop tbh. And since it doesn't sound really that quite exactly like hip-hop, I proposed instead those street poets with beat boxes. These are similar but don't usually improvise or have such a rap rhythm. They instead speak their poetry to the beats. It's a bit strange and interesting and I think that it resembles more your style.

And this ended up being an essay on the similitude of your work and street poetry. Toot.

and i LOVED your essay. you could be an english teacher. but like an english teacher in the US. not of the language itself, but of readings and poetry and culture and authors and art. like, i mean that 100%. you're taking me back to AP English Literature classroom days a decade ago, and its a beautiful thing :)

hi miss, i like that

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You have been scouted by @promo-mentors. We are always on the look out for promising authors.

I would like to invite you to our discord group https://discord.gg/vDPAFqb.

When you are there send me a message if you get lost! (My Discord name is the same as the one here)

I was never scouted. :( Shey's in CryptoEmpire too, btw. It's just she never talks, I think.

thanks for message and hope you liked the writing! ill be sure to find you on discord:)

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Beautiful imagery. Goes perfect with your words

thank you so much:) its actually an old sketch of mine i came across - i think from 2013 or 2014. i did it as a gift so i don't have the original anymore, but the gift was for a friend who was getting a cherry blossom tattooed on her back and so i had the idea to connect it into her hair. anyway, its soft, and kind of weightless like many of my sketches end up being. glad you like it:)

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Beautifully written @itinerantarist! We like the sketch too!

amazing! thanks so much for the supportive words. y'all rock :D

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