And Sometimes I Know I Am Having A Feeling

In this poem by Matthew Siegel, he talks about his struggles with the feelings he can let out, but chooses to keep buried inside.

Siegel hits it right on the head when it comes to those of us who have more of an introvert personality, especially those that are in a relationship. Our inner thoughts, no matter who you are, aren't always the easiest to communicate, even with those we love the most.

This poem is so relatable for most of us, we all have feelings that we close off. Feelings that we push aside because we don't want to think about them or burden those around us. So we 'jump into' our partner instead, we go to them for their warmth and love. Focusing on them and loving them is what brings those of us back to our reality, even though we can't always talk about what it is that is on our minds.

We all have our 'demons' to bear, but being with the one you love can almost make the feelings go away. By learning to love them for who they are and ourselves, not just what we see on the 'outside'.

And Sometimes I Know I Am Having A Feeling

By: Matthew Siegel

And sometimes I know I am having a feeling
but I don’t want to have a feeling so I close up
like a book or a jacket or a sack which holds
a body. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be dead in here,
you can drag me wherever you want, the body
seems to say. You laugh like a little silver moon.
You laugh like the moon on the water ignored
by necking lovers. You said you didn’t like that word
because something so sweet should not call to mind
giraffes, but I love the word “necking,” the way it twists
in on itself, like what I do to you when I want
to disappear in you, leave the sack of my body
strewn on the shore of you. Sometimes I’m inside
the sack and then sometimes I am nothing more
than the stitching which keeps it from bursting.
Sometimes I carry the sack and sometimes the sack
carries me. I only know the difference sometimes.
Do you ever feel like it’s difficult to figure out
what you’re feeling? I have that all the time, especially
when I look out a window or at your open face
across from me in bed, or your closed face
when I see the quiet pain you contain, or which
contains you. I know you’re more than that
frown which makes your face resemble a fist
with gorgeous black hair. I know you contain more
than the reaction to my words or my body.
Some of us have to learn to love with hands
interlocked, but each with our own hand.

https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/and-sometimes-i-know-i-am-having-feeling