I am thy round (Day 69 of 100 -- Poetry challenge)
the quarters called
by the orbit of the center-point,
above
and below
All.
dance the round,
chant the sounds,
set the lights,
smoke the ground.
upon the blood-acre.
Rise in this space.
Dwell in this place.
of your light;
a flame of eternal night.
with your breath of fire
and sight of light —
I gaze upon your
darkness that resides within,
upon your blackened peacock,
come forth and show
your hues — I invoke the muse.
that which has been repressed
in the sacred black-womb
where they boil and burn.
to the heavens
and rage,
wild and
beautiful,
danger
ablaze.
yours to shine,
star-bright,
from the holy
hole of eternal
night.
I am thy round!
All pieces are newly crafted and posted shortly after in adherence to the rules of the challenge. All the photos are mine unless otherwise stated.
Entry for Day 69 of 100 Days of Poetry Challenge by @d-pend.
Join the Steemit School here: https://discord.gg/yZvYjfM organized by @dobartim on Discord.
We spoke at length of the "be laid," and such. I am not a fan of it. I think it's actually bad. I know you're invoking the style of invocation, but when you're invoking people who rather than lend their ear to truth and beauty, but to what they thought truth and beauty ought to sound like, it grates on me.
I'd rather have a genuine invocation, that knows its power, without the need for tortured and ye olde Englishe sentences. That attempt by them to show how real they are shows their fakeness, and I don't think that's a good vibe to embody, not in poetry, not in magic, and it's one that doesn't feel to me like you.
"Above and below" though, that's a powerful image. There's a reason The Magician invokes it, and if you think about it, so does The Fool, caught as he is between heaven and the pit.
The second big stanza is very sing-songy. What does it mean exactly? I think focusing on that for that one is wrong. It's about merriment. It sounds like merriment. It carries you along.
Third big stanza is the real invocation, and the rhyme-repetition fits.
"A flame of eternal night" makes me wonder, is that their light, or what you are as their daughter? And regardless, the black light, and what it shows. Of course it has a different meaning in modern parlance, with UV-light that reveals hidden messages, fluids, etc.
"Darkness that resides within," you know what Nietzsche had to say, about gazing overlong into the darkness. Yet there is power in looking at it, in knowing what lies in its depths.
What lies in our depths.
A poem for darkness, and light. Lava is a good image, because the red light often feels as if it hides more than it shows, and the light is more a sensation of warmth there.
And lava is repressed, and an interesting message when combined with a womb. A black one. Is this a poem about Earth, or about Death? It's interesting how in some mythologies deep within the Earth is where death lies, not life. The vapors and lava again.
Lava-waters, death-giving, rather than life.
The poem does end strongly, as an invocation or as something ritualistic. With the rhymes carrying us through, and giving the right cadence.
Now I wonder if the poem should've used more rhymes, or if more would've been too much. No answer from me.
I do feel it is stronger when it uses the truth and beauty of poetry for invocation, rather than calling on self-important men's officious manners.
This is my kind of poem. I like the violent imagery invoked with words like 'stoke', 'blood-acre', 'lava-waters', and 'Spew'.
I love the way you embed the poem with occult references, and how the poem itself is an invocation. The reader gets to experience the focused willpower used when calling a deity. We gain an insight in the becoming of a vessel. We also see the importance of the individual, we see that the calling is not a subjugation, but an invitation and acknowledgement; a communion.
I like the use of "O" in lieu of "Oh". I like the duality you expose in the juxtaposition of 'Holies' and 'darkness' in stanza nine, and really throughout the poem.
I like the precise use of capitalization. Every capitalized word comes with a hidden gem.
I like how a few of your stanzas were one line, and some of them were very short one line stanzas. For me this gave a power to the invocation feeling of the work.
I like your use of the dash in your ninth stanza because to me it calls it out apart from the rest of the piece visually, and gives it an air of authority in the piece.
Great work. I love reading your poetry. 😎
I do recommend using paragraph breaks, Steve :)
(Also, it's "in lieu.")
Good comment.
Thank you guy. I will fix it.
This was an awesome commnet, Steve. Thank you. :)
Come and be present
upon the blood-acre.
Rise in this space.
Dwell in this place.
Your words are so power. I have to ask do you practice Wiccan?
I am not a Wiccan, however, I am a Witch and a life long student of the Occult -- A seeker of secrets and arcane knowledge. ;)
I very much enjoy the teachings of the Ancients and of the Folk from all over the world, this includes lots of more obscure stuff from the Judeo-Christian side of things too (which I was not raised in).
A seeker:)
YESH! <3
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